Walking our own path

It wouldn’t be the first time that someone mentioned to me that I walked my own path. In fact, if I were to really think about it, it would be something someone says to me at least once a month for what feels like a lifetime. It is so common to hear, that for the short time I had Tinder, I had Fleetwood Mac’s – Go your own way listed as my anthem.

It’s been said by my friends; it’s been said by my family members; it’s be said by co-workers; it’s been said by strangers that don’t even know me. If everyone is saying it, then it must be true, no? And so it isn’t until now that I stop to really reflect on what it means, and why it might be something to which I relate, or not.

I recently had a guest staying with me where this topic came up. Walking our own paths of course refers to our path of life, and how some people might be following a predestined path, or whether they tread down a path less trodden or more personal. This thus may remind you, dear reader, of the concept of the sheep and how they follow the masses. I think it’s fair to say that the majority of people, for the majority of their lives follow. There may be moments in their life where they go astray, but the flow is strong.

And so it makes me think about the trailblazing nature of my own life, and how most decisions in my life have caused me diverge from the masses and walk my own path down my roads, and through the empty forests. It can be a very lonely journey, I admit, but when we feel it’s right in our hearts it must be something we do, no? It wasn’t until recently that I started to consider this to not be something positive. If our heart is telling us to do something or to follow something, we are taught we should follow it. As a very intuitive person, this resonates for me. And yet, a conflict emerges.

Those that walk their own paths will undoubtedly compare the experience as if we are forging a path through deep snow. Each step is slower, and it’s unclear where the end is, as our vision is blinded. But we forge onward, trusting, and hoping that our journey brings us to a destination that we want and that is worthy of us. And yet, is this really the truth?

As I was trying to explain to someone that it’s okay to walk their own path, a dark thought kept coming up as I was giving advice. Is it really something that I should be recommending to someone? Do I really want to lead people down this path, knowing, that it often ends up being a painful and lonely road? Do these people have the mental and emotional fortitude to be able to manage this and the swings and twists and turns that happen? I used to think so, but this sinking feeling arose in my gut that perhaps it wasn’t such a good thing to recommend.

Perhaps we think it’s good to follow our hearts and go down our own paths, but when we reflect upon where we end up, we look back in retrospect in order to asses if we were right. Without realising I was doing it, subconsciously I was making that evaluation and posed myself these questions: Where am I? Where did these paths lead me? Is this right for me? Would I be happier or better off if I followed the other paths?

While these questions, technically, should be rhetorical I couldn’t help answering them myself. I’m sitting in an empty apartment in a town where I only have acquaintances. Career wise I’ve managed to scrape something together and find (relative) stability, but am I really living? Posing this question might suggest I think the contrary.

So why do we do it? Why do we recommend it? Why do we encourage and prise people that do it? Why do we guide other people down the same paths and encourage them, even with the best of intentions, despite the sinking feeling that perhaps it’s not for everyone, or even that it’s perhaps not done me well? That must be the sinking feeling I have been feeling lately, and when speaking to someone about it I felt such a hesitation.

And so it brings me back to that anthem by the classic Fleetwood Mac. I guess the message, purpose, or meaning of song really rings more true than originally thought. Lost forever shall I be, forging onwards deeper into the depths of the lost forest.

Or maybe I should just get more into orientering, and bring the lostness to real fruition.

Save me, please!

When someone asks to be saved what does it mean? I’m referring of course to the saving expression when someone isn’t about to die, but rather the more euphemistic version that someone says when they are healthy and in no perilous circumstance.

Are we looking for a prince charming, a burly older man, a petite woman, a butch or lipstick lesbian, or something else? Is this person supposed to whisk us away, hold our hand for support, help us run away, or just want to ravage us in bed with sexuality? Is that person strong, kind, empathetic, or is it not even a person at all?

Its a cry for help, moat assuredly but the question of course is what is behind that request or plea?

I don’t think I imagine royalty but more simply someone to come and change what I think, what I feel, how I see the world, and how I react. Its never happened to me get, I don’t expect it to ever happen, but I’m open to the possibility and open minded to what comes thereafter.

What about my interpretation in a more general sense? I’m a Cancer, a deeply loyal dreamer that’s sensitive and is fickle. I’m not asking for royalty, or richness or a dream come true and once upon a time ending… I want a change of perspective, an unconditional devotion, a person that likes me for me and takes me away to help me be who I’m destined and deserving to be. Most importantly this person needs to make me laugh and be kind.

So in the spirit of letting free and hitting rock bottom: Please, save me cause Lord knows I deserve it!

How men treat women versus men

If you’re a male reader, have you ever wondered what its like to have a man be interested in you, try to charm you, and eventually be in a relationship with you? Is it something that differs from the male perspective? I can’t imagine it would be the same, and try as I may to understand the dynamics of my female friends relationships, I feel at a loss and like I’m missing something.

Its true that I relate more, and conduct a thought process very similar to women but since I have little to no experience in the male world, I haven’t really had the opportunity to compare or form a synthesis of information.

Are men more patient with women? Do they treat them respectfully? Do they alter their habits to conform? Do they charm their way into a woman’s life? Do they touch differently or have different physical needs? Fob they nurture or assist the natural nurturing intuition of women or do they just protect?

As I’m sitting on one of my morning busses the thought came to me, and it suddenly grew into a philosophical question. So; what do we think?

Change of Opinion

How quickly change the blossomed rose to a wilting state without as much of a scandalous affair.

Do others alter their dispositions so rapidly as I, or is that something likeness to a unique type like myself?

As quickly as darkness shines to a brilliant light, a shining star eclipses to a deafening sombreness.

Though gallantly stands the strong taste of sweetness, the same object may become tasted most strongly of bitterness.

And so why ardently loves ones so just, so upon when the regard is hardly taken or remarked?

Thus so clearly thou should comprehend, the change of conviction shall occur most precipitously.

Food for thought…


I was recently catching up on my Brazilian friend’s blog found at the link here where he writes poetry, about his travels, and thoughts. Very similar to the rest of us people who blog.

He frequently mentions a concept of “connections” and what influences him to speak to strangers. I find this concept quite foreign. What does one base a connection on? What does one feel when said connection exists? How do you know that this connection isn’t just attraction? If that’s the case, then is a connection really just an attraction based on physical characteristics?

I could go on and on with this, have a million and a half more related and unrelated questions but I won’t for the sake of sanity.

And so I leave you with this summarizing question: What is a connection between two people, and how is it formed?