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Ever wonder what it’s like to haul your ass into work everyday, and be a peachy-creame Oskypoo whilst doing it? Well check out the map of my transit exploits, and if you have the money (ha!) you can totally stalk me, on my nonstalkerish commute to work!

Several things caught my attention on my way to and from work today, and they are as follows:

• A thirty-something man jerking off in his car, pants fully open (roughly 7am, Yonge & Jefferson Sideroad)
• Two rabbis at the airport, who couldn’t speak any English (Pearson International Airport)
• Guy’s fluffy hair that makes his head look like a bobble head (VIVA Blue Bus, between Richmond Hill Terminal and Golf Links Dr, Aurora)
• A clear blue sky from morning to night, not a single cloud passed the GTA

So what’s up with this weird weather? A wonderfully cool summer, then we get humidity beyond comprehension, and then on Aug. 20th, 2009 we got hit by tornados in Southwestern-Ontario. There were three confirmed tornados that touched down and did major damage. The first in Durham, Grey County, the second in Woodbridge, York County, and then in my town, Newmarket, York County.

I couldn’t believe it, as I was on the roads on the way home. Apparently it hit the stables at Davis Dr. and Woodbine Ave., which is basically the limits of Newmarket and Whichurch-Stouffville, but even still it’s caused a lot of damage. I’ve never seen anyting like it, but I was at the gym at the time during while it happend. I could only see lightening, and it was the most spectacular thing I could imagine.

The above photo is a taken a few moments before a circling York Region Police Deptartment Helicopter (chopper) was circling around Yongue St. & Green Lane on Sunday night. They were searching for someone. How does this connect to me? I was walking out of the cinema, from watching District 9, and cut across the parking lot and was infront of the Price Chopper. Suddenly the light focuses on me, follows me, and before I know it I have 20 police cruisers surrounding me. I approach one of them asking what’s wrong.

They ask me who I am, where I’m coming from, where I’m going. Answers my name, the cinema, home at Yongue & Mulock, respectively. They tell me that they are looking for someone, and ask if I’m alone. I reply I’m as alone as a person walking by ones self can be, and I’m alone for the weekend. They proceed to tell me that I’m not who they are looking for, and tell me to hurry home. I tell them it’s 4km walk home, and it’s going to take me at least 1.5 hours to get there (this is at 10pm btw). They say okay, and all about to drive off, and as they are leaving I ask them if I should be worried. They reply “uh, no.” I reply, “Well it’s a bit disconcerning being surrounded by 20 cruisers, having the chopper’s light on me, and telling me that everything is “ok” because obviously it isn’t.” The officer grunted at me, and I continued on my way.

The walk home involved paranoia, and some running as I was scared to get raped.

Why do the things that only happen in movies, happen to me on a daily basis? Crazy.

So the photo? In the top right you can see the chopper, and on the left you can see the light, about to shine on me. Great isn’t it? Le sigh.

I went bowling on Friday night, and it was tragic. The evening consisted of me having banter with Michael, Niel, Danielle, and Kate. I used one of my many aliases, Joachim, in order not to be recognized in my town. It worked like a charm, and was lovely. Michael, took his name Mikeypoo affectionately. Turns out that I’m even worse at five pin bowling than I thought originally. I had a couple rounds of less than fifty, which is abismal.

My life sucks, but at least the neon was coolish. We had a speed round when our time was running out, which consisted of the best scores and the most fun that we had the whole night! For those who actually care where the bowling was, it was at Stellar Lanes, in Northern Newmarket. It’s north on Leslie St. Go team.