melodifestivalen 2012

So we have come to the pinnacle of the Melodifestivalen season where Sweden decides it’s fate and attempts to put it’s best foot forward to Eurovision with an attempt to win. At the onset of the final, there were two songs that stood out, and the rest tied for last place or varying degrees thereof.

David Lindgren – Shout it out

A fourth place finish is hardly surprising as fresh out of the gate David was the first one to perform. His song seemed to have changed slightly in an attempt to sway the televoters and international juries. All in all an energetic performance of a song that will be played in the discos for years to come. He appeared to have a little more facial hair this time, maybe going for sex appeal?

Thorsten Flinck & Revolutionsorkestern – Jag resar mig igen

I didn’t like it but the public did and ranked it third in televoting, leaving it in eight place overall. Kind of funny that the public carried it so much and yet it ended up third to last? The song is dark and deep but when it comes to actual appeal of it I don’t see it at all. Even when he received his televotes he didn’t look terribly concerned or interest, and even disappointed. It would have been tragic to see him at Eurovision, quite frankly.

Dead by April – Mystery

I don’t like hard rock like in the semi-finals, but this song grew on me after a few listenings. Good vocals and a much more engaged performance led the group to seventh place. Unsurprisingly the performance wasn’t much different, and there wasn’t much change expected from the prior performance.

Lisa Miskovsky – Why start a fire
❗ Personal Favourite

Hands down in my opinion the absolute best song in this years competition. It’s simple and sweet, empathetic and perfectly executed with the most simple of backing dancers to add some flare. A lot of talk was going on around this particular song and why it was voted directly into the final. I can’t say much on that subject, but I’m surprised with it’s finishing ninth. People didn’t get what the hype was about, but mostly because two other singers had the hype surrounding them like a cyclone. Terribly underrated, and again my favourite for the year.

Top Cats – Baby doll

Boring rock song that I’m sick of hearing. I had to hear it once in the semi-final, twice in Andra Chansen and all of the snabb-repriser, so needless to say I wasn’t really digging it. I did start to notice ears a little bit more and how much they stuck out, which made me more interested in watching semi-attractive people dance around on stage trying to convince us to vote for them.

Loreeen – Euphoria
=> Winner
❗ Personal Favourite

The bookies called it at the beginning of the competition and as a result, it won. It was the strongest performance and dances despite illness, but really made for a slightly boring year in Melodifestivalen. The last few years it’s been obvious who will win and there is no last minute voting shockers to give us some more interest. Shocked that she won, and slow getting up on stage resulted in awkward commentating by Sarah Dawn Finer (good job by the way), and a star-struck winner. I do think that she’s a great representative and the best song to win at Eurovision, but I think the introverted nature of Loreen will play against her on the European stage.

Ulrik Munther – Soldiers
=> Second Runner Up
❗ Personal Favourite

Having turned 18 since his last performance, as Sarah Dawn Finer diligently pointed out, pedophiles around Sweden and the world weeped tragedy at their loss. A pretty face, with a good masculine song, and a harmonica for the bonus, but he was no match for team-Danny/Loreen and finished a strong third.

Björn Ranelid feat. Sara Li

I’m thankful that this received the lowest international jury votes, and third lowest televoting votes. The writer had his moment in the semi-final, which will likely be the apex of his musical career, and in the end finished last (thank God) as crushed by the onslaught of the popular artists.

Molly Sandén – Why am I crying?

This song is like nails on a chalkboard for me and doesn’t have any bite to it at all. I ripped it apart in the semi-final review and therefore won’t do it again. I don’t like Molly, I don’t like her ballads, and I don’t like her outfit. It’s a recipe for disaster for me, and as a result this song was a complete non-issue for me this year. The only other artist at this point that would have turned me off from Melodifestivalen would have been Amy Diamond.

Danny Saucedo – Amazing
=> Runner Up
❗ Personal Favourite

Nothing can match the on stage performance that this piece presented; it simply was the best. The message of the song was uplifting and people bought into it. It garnered the second highest televotes and the second highest international jury votes. It’s result is justified, and will only make people love him more. The question is however, if he will turn into Måns Zelmerlöw and not show back up to the competition because of his loss, or will he brush his shoulders off and take the second second place finish in two years and improve to first?

Overall the competition was a success, the right song won, everyone celebrated and professed how much they love Loreen, and life goes on without next to no drama. The highlight of the show for me was the fantastic Sarah Dawn Finer taking the total piss out of the UK doing a parody about their possible ignorance in regards to Baku and Azerbaijan (not even being able to pronounce it; and having no fucking clue where it is). Not only did it make me seriously think it was bang on, but it also made me laugh because everyone could still tell that she was taking the piss!

This is the critic in me signing off until the trip to Baku (which I obviously won’t be making), but will in spirit!

For a lack of better expression: what the fuck happened tonight? I am at a complete loss for words at the result of the Second Chance round, and I fail to see what happened. Nearly in every case the song that I like didn’t progress, and now I’m stuck listening to the two songs that I precisely didn’t want to ever hear again.

Dynazty – Land of Broken Dreams
❗ Personal Favourite

Despite my dislike for rock music, the melodic rock really works for me. I do have to say that the execution of this particular performance was without a doubt sub-standard. The singing was off and strained at times, and sadly it didn’t result in the voter’s public appeal in comparison to Top Cats (which boggles my mind). Even if they had progressed, I’d have wished their demise against Timoteij.

Top Cats – Baby Doll
=> Globen

The first thing I said when watching this song again, was wow those ears are really big! And then it started, the lead singer began to look better and better looking. It’s a sad day for me, who at some point actually thought he and some of the others were attractive. I wrote about this song before and I’m offended on several levels, but I guess it could have been worse! (Or..?) What struck me also about this performance was the English diction got poorer since the last time.

Andreas Johnson – Lovelight

Dubbed as the feel-good-chorus of the competition (really?) I don’t think this one had a chance in hell. I like Andreas, but all of his music sounds the same and has the same feeling, and for that reason I wasn’t really rooting for him at all. I like his voice, I like his humour, and I like him, but in this competition at this moment I’m glad that he fell.

Timoteij – Stormande hav
❗ Personal Favourite

To say one is disappointed about this not qualifying would be an understatement for me. This was by and large the only song out of the Second Chance round that I felt strongly about. It’s catchy, it’s pretty, it’s simple, and it’s ethno-pop with a pin whistle! Everything I ask for in an entry! Having beaten Andreas in the first quarterfinal I was shocked and appalled to learn they lost their ticket to Globen to Top Cats? Votership must have been down and the retirees must have voted because I’m lost confused.

Thorsten Flinck & Revolutionsorkestern – Jag reser mig igen
=> Globen

Barefoot and minus a lot of makeup form the Semifinals, Thorsten strode his way into the final for reasons that i fail to grasp. The song is depressing, the whole ensemble just made me confused an to make matters worse at the Eftersnack, he couldn’t even get the name of the interviewer right.. He had to ask at least three times after hearing the name “Nisse” and then barely acknowledged it. Beating out Lotta and Christer was a shock, but I get the impression that he’s a lot more full of himself than I give him credit for.

Lotta Engberg & Christer Sjögren – Don’t let me down
❗ Personal Favourite

As cheesy as it is, I actually like this song and it grew on me (thanks to the usage of violins). With great voices and great careers they bowed out to Thorsten Flinck who quite frankly didn’t deserve it in my opinion. Although the song was a bit strange, I did notice that the English pronunciation was indeed sub-standard.

Sean Banan – Sean den Förste Banan
❗ Personal Favourite

Despite it being a complete comedy entry and something so strange to most people’s eyes the song is disturbingly catchy and it’s no wonder that it beat out Youngblood. I’m not happy at all that it failed in the semifinal to go to Globen because quite honestly the final needed something a little “lighter” to deal with the serious songs. If only the comedy act could do better every year..

Youngblood – Youngblood

Boybands are always a tough call, and most of what I wanted to say was noted in the semi-final analysis. This song is not really something that one can toe-tap to, and it’s just a group of “wet dream” teenage guys likely looking to get laid. They are typical 5 guys each with it’s own cardboard cut-out “images” (even one with the underdeveloped bulging muscles). I’m happy it didn’t go anywhere, and it’s safe to say that they can all go back to school where they belong!

Dubbed as the Semi Final of Death by most analysts, the evening proved to be quite deathly for at least one of the better five songs, where only four spots were available to proceed.

Charlotte Perrelli – The Girl
❗ Personal Favourite

Charlotte is back and with a huge punch. Rumoured to not be able to afford doing the production again, perhaps it’s just as well she didn’t qualify, but really in all honesty I firmly believe that this song was cheated out of qualification. Schlagertastic, and nearly the only true schlager hit of the year, Charlotte sounded great, looked amazing, and embraced the “Go Big, or Go Home” attitude. She looks the same as she did 10 years ago, and she sounds better even still. I think it’s a tragedy that she didn’t qualify as she clearly deserved spot in lieu of, say “Don’t Let Me Down.”

OPA – Allting blir bra igen

I really was at a loss for words for this song and what it was doing in the competition. I can see that it would appeal to southern Mediterranean people, but it’s not really a song for Sweden, even though it’s sung in Swedish. There isn’t anything that stood out for me, and at the end of the evening the only thing I could really remember abut it as they they all scream OPA like the typical Greek people (or people trying to imitate Greek people). Further to this, I was slightly more drawn to watching the bass player, than the actual singer on whom the camera was focused.

Dynazty – Land of Broken Dreams
=> Andra Chansen
❗ Personal Favourite

I’m really not sure what to say about this one. It’s a melodic rock song, and against all odds I believe it should have been to the final. However, I think there should only be one rock song in the final, and since there already is one, it’s a shame that the better one of the two (this one), likely won’t qualify. And if they do, the boyfriend of the teenyboppers will spilt the hard rock vote. I did enjoy this number, however I don’t really think it should go anywhere.

Lotta Engberg & Christer Sjögren
=> Andra Chansen

Well we got exactly what we all expected: cheese. This song is the absolute reincarnation of the cheesy number. My mother and aunt listened to it, thought “wow this is horrible” and my response to that is “you know, the older generation will eat it up” and sure enough they did. The lyrics are ridiculous, but Lotta and Christer are staples in the cultural world of Melodifestivalen so it does make sense that they were put into Andra Chansen. Having said that, I hope it burns it’s bright flame there and is never spoken of again…

Hanna Lindblad – Goosebumps
❗ Personal Favourite

I like Hanna’s high energy. I liked her as a dominatrix a few years ago, and I like her in neon yellow with a steroids induced performance. The song is catchy enough to possibly be a radio hit but I think that the lyrics were a bit of a miss-step on this one. A lot of ‘repetition’ of the same word to me implies that the songwriters couldn’t find any words that rhyme or make sense in the song, and for that I give less points but I still love the enthusiasm and the performance that Hanna always seems to put on for the people.

Axel Algmark – Kyss mig

I’m really not sure what to say about this one because it’s just so typical. Typical guy with the same typical Swedish voice, with the same typical not-sure-what-he’s-doing performance. I felt like I was watching an 18 year old that knew somewhat how to sing, but didn’t really have any purpose or drive other than jumping around on stage and then falling onto the ground at the end. With my low quality bandwidth I couldn’t really see what he looked like, but I’d guess he’s somewhere in his 20s, and a song like this doesn’t really fit to his age. I say this because moments after I made that assessment his hat came off to display a lot of balding… I was left confused in general.

Lisa Miskovsky – Why Start a Fire?
=> Globen
❗ Personal Favourite

Yes, yes, and yes. This song is by and far the best song of the competition. It’s so simple, (read not boring like other people are saying) and it speaks to me and surely it speaks to other people. Lisa has been a radio star for quite a few years, and before she came on stage I wasn’t sure what to expect. Who knew that you could turn bedsheets into something interesting to watch, yet not draw away from the talent of the song. Quite honestly I can say that this song brought me to tears, and it features some awesomely rare sounds from instruments that I can only guess as wind-pipes or a billabong?! Bring it on, baby!

Danny Saucedo – Amazing
=> Globen
❗ Personal Favourite

Tipped by the bookies to be a winner this year, there is no doubt that this entry was qualifying. It was the most packaged show of the year, and it deserves to be in the final. He wants to win, and despite looking like he didn’t think he would qualify, I think deep down there was too much press around it to not go. The performance, was however flawed. Singing issues, matched with creative and funky dancing and wardrobes, it will be a lasting favourite in the final. Everyone thinks that Danny is Amazing, and instead of him telling us that we are amazing, we are telling him that he’s amazing instead!

So the semi-final of death progressed with little to no controversy, depute Charlotte and her “situation” which I will mourn for years to come. Now we all fight it out in Andra Chansen for the final two spots. Off the top of my head (since the draws haven’t been announced), I want two of the following to qualify: Timoteij, Sean Banan, or Dynazty.

Weird, but yes that’s how I feel.

The SVT production crew travels to Leksand for the third semifinal in this year’s contest. I can say with quite honesty and frankness that this was by far the worst semifinal of the year, and “thanks” to personal family tragedy, my watching of this even was interrupted.

Youngblood – Youngblood
=> Andra Chansen

At the risk of sounding quite intolerant, I’m slightly disgusted by this entry on several levels. Firstly, self entitled songs based on the group name is tacky. Secondly, as much as I love boy bands, this prepubescent group of boys represents a mosaic that was clearly placed together to represent different social, and ethnic makeup. Further to this they all fit into categories as follows: Hispanic Ghetto, Black Gangster, Typical Preppy, Blonde Jock, and Nerd Gone Wild. The fact that they could be everyone’s wet dreams, has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they really aren’t good singers (at least in this presentation) and they got by into Andra Chansen on pure looks, and weakness of other songs. Harsh but true.

Maria BenHajji – I mina drömmar

The webjoker of the year, pre-listened to by the Swedish public, and crashing and burning into dead last place. It’s difficult to find words to describe the beginning part of the song where skills in singing low are displayed, despite the fact that it’s all off key and difficult to figure out if it’s right or not. The song grew on me once she got up from the piano and proved that she could do only one thing at once, but in the end it really wasn’t convincing in any way shape or form.

Mattias Andréasson – Förlåt mig

Arguably one of the expected winners of the evening, this one crashed and burned and I think it’s justified. It’s true that apart of E.M.D., Mattias was quite a heart-throb, and watching him on stage I thought the same thing “dreamboat” and then the camera started zooming in and I got a better look. I started thinking, wow, he’s good looking but I’m not feeling it. Perhaps it was the fact that when he says “förlåt mig” he sounds like a dying cat, or the fact that the song was R&B, but it was not my thing and didn’t do as well as expected. Maybe the pre-pubescent boy-band bedazzled all the teenybopper girls that want Mattias to get all wet and… well I will leave that to your imagination, but ladies (and gentleman) the sad fact is attractive people are nearly always taken.

Love Generation – Just A Little Bit
❗ Personal Favourite

One of a few actual favourites this semi final, I was a bit disappointed by this song. The performance was divine, but the song didn’t convince me. Many people were saying that it was better than last year’s entry but I don’t agree. Perhaps I held the group up to a higher standard because I loved their previous two songs, but this one was catchy but didn’t really speak to me in any way. It just seemed like a bunch of songwriters got together and mashed a chart-topping song out, but didn’t really believe in what they were doing.

Carolina Wallin Pérez – Sanningen
❗ Personal Favourite

At first I was disgusted by this performance and seriousness of the artist. But then I started actually listening and I closed my eyes, and the song spoke to me. I’ve been a fan of Michael Clauss before in the competition, and perhaps it’s that piece of the puzzle that made me feel it. I just got into the groove and as long as I kept my eyes closed I was better off. Please send a memo around to everyone that one sided feather earrings were never in, aren’t in, and won’t ever be as long as I have anything to say about it.

Andreas Johnson – Lovelight
=> Second Chance

Typical Andreas music… that’s really all that I can say. After so many failed attempts at winning, he’s at it again and quite frankly I’m surprised he keeps coming back after not winning over and over again. The song is okay, but it’s just like the same stuff that he sings over, and over, and over, and over, and over. I just was having difficulties paying attention the whole time, and bam he ends up in the second chance round. Frankly though, it’s one of the better songs this week out of a blah selection.

Molly Sandén – Why Am I Crying?
=> Globen

Someone professed their love of Molly to me. It only increased the dislike I have of her. I’m not particularly fond of her voice, I’m not particularly fond of the style of song, I’m not particularly fond of the execution and soul that she puts into her music, but other people eat it up. This said person announced that they felt sorry for Molly because in the final she wouldn’t stand a chance (just like the last time she did a ballad). This is true on multiple levels. I’m just really unconvinced when attractive people talk (or sing in this case) about their breakups or relationship issues. Without continuing on a rant, I feel no sympathy for them, and am disgusted that people like that are complaining about their woes, while the rest of the non-goodlooking people suffer and don’t get any attention at all.

Björn Ranelid feat. Sara Li – Mirakel
=> Globen

We knew that it would be the Björn Ranelid show, and if he didn’t go to the final it would have been an uproar, but my God do I wish I never had to see this person again. Sure he’s a great writer, but uttering poetry while a skanked up singer beats off a dance tune really doesn’t do it for me. Clearly a member of a solarium this entire entry screams fake. Fake singing, fake dancing, fake performing. It was a train-wreck on stage, and I was thankfully taken a way. Hearing the words “kärlken” and “mirakel” have henceforth lost their effect on me, and the “Jaaa, Jaas” that culminate the performance just make me shudder with disgust. For lack of better words, Go The Fuck Home!

Needless to say for the whole week I was in protest of the poor quality of songs for this semi final. I find it hard to believe that SVT didn’t receive some other ones that would have been better, but alas this is how the cookie crumbled. I was left feeling disappointed, hopeless, and disgusted in music. A sad day.

With a week since the last semi-final, we move onto Scandinavium in Göteborg with a semi-final that heats up the quality of music by quite a bit. With an opener of Sara Dawn Finer dressed as a boy-band heartthrob like the Backstreet Boys, it’s hard not to laugh, especially when she’s out of breath dancing. Embrace it baby!

Ulrik Munther – Soldiers
=> Globen
❗ Personal Favourite

When Ulrik appeared on stage, my aunt said “Wow he’s young” and my response to that was: “Wow, he looks Norwegian.” Despite my obvious forwardness with judgements, I was surprised to hear a song that actually was well composed and beautifully executed. The boy is frankly too skinny (as if I’d ever say that…) but his voice has this raspy feeling that shows a bit of soul. I don’t see it lasting long enough but the greater appeal wins over. I mean, he’s alright looking, has a meaningful song that he wrote partially himself, and despite sharp features he appears dreamy.

Top Cats – Baby Doll
=> Andra Chansen

This song offends me on several levels: it’s a near copy of the song by the Playtones in past years, with the same style, the same beat, and the same bass line musically. I started watching it and I thought, okay Sweden will buy into it, and sure enough they did. I predicted that it would be “bought” but not for the same reason that others think. The song would appeal to an older generation of people for nostalgic purposes, but I don’t buy it, and I don’t think Eurovision in Baku would buy it either. There is absolutely nothing exciting about this number: it’s simple and predictable, with lots of hair gel. I don’t dig it. Further to that, as a musician I’m horrified and offended that one of the members thought it was appropriate to stand on his bass… That bass should be taken away from him.

Sonja Aldén – I din himmel
❗ Personal Favourite

When I heard that Sonja was coming back to the competition months ago I got all excited because anything by her is hands down fabulous. I wasn’t disappointed with her very minimalist and empathetic ballad this year. Sadly the Swedish televoters thought differently and voted for inferior songs, in my opinion. In a beautiful dress, with smoke and a bridge going to nowhere, they didn’t buy it, but I sure did. With a spine shivering, and the hairs on my skin raising, I couldn’t help but be so enchanted by it, but deep down I kind of knew that the public wouldn’t go for it. I wore black in mourning for this song not qualifying; Sonja has just had horrible luck with Melodifestivalen.

Andreas Lundstedt – Aldrig aldrig
❗ Personal Favourite

Andreas has been around for a really long time, longer than I care to remember, and I didn’t really think of it until my aunt asked me how old he was. I looked it up and was horrified to learn he was 40. Then I thought, oh yeah okay that’s actually somewhat possible because he’s been around the block. What amazes me that throughout his entire career his voice has stayed the same and is quite presentable. This song is fresh, catchy and will no doubt be a radio hit but it didn’t really fly with the telemeters. I don’t exactly know why my three favourite songs ended up in the bottom, but it just doesn’t seem fair. One thing I criticize is the fact that there is far too much crotch grabbing; it would have been good enough without that.

Timoteij – Stormande hav
=> Andra Chansen
❗ Personal Favourite

As with two years ago, a catchy folk dance tune with a huge beat. It’s totally predicable, and quite frankly I don’t give a flying fuck if it sounds similer to “Kom” but alas this has enough personality to be it’s own song. Presentation was more or less the same but this time with actual dances (drool @ last years dreamy dancer(s)) that make it a better overall production. What horrifies me is that this goes to Andra Chansen and did not qualify directly. I fear that the may get lost, but their fabulousness and folk feel works totally on me and I’m sold! Plus they are hawt!

David Lindgren – Shout it out
=> Globen

Direct to Globen? You’ve got to be freaking kidding me! As good as his voice is, the frank fact that this is a complete rip off of last year’s runner off makes me kind of sick. He’s charming yes, and has a good future in the industry ahead, but I don’t really see the greater appeal for this act? It may end up being a strong contender to win, but if this is sent to Eurovision, then Sweden will end up losing… badly.

Mimi Oh – Dët går för långsamt
❗ Personal Favourite

I expected big things from Mimi Oh, and despite the song being original enough it was flawed. I liked it anyways. New to the scene, singing out of range, and singing a super repetitive song, it screams that it’s destined for the radio (with a better studio edited version). I think what made me the happiest is the energy that was filled with everything, but it’s the bright florescent yellow dress that was worn with the pink and green pants on the others. My “mystery” dancer again makes me drool, and the song makes my toes tap but it’s not surprising that it ended up last place. I just mourn the loss regardless.

Thomas di Leva – Ge aldrig upp
❗ Personal Favourite

This one really baffles me in so many levels. On the first level, the man has the weirdest sense of dress and reminds me a bit of Roger Pontare, and in all fairness he marches to the beat of his own drum. The hair, makes it all go a little more weird, but I just keep returning to the idea that he’s wearing a dress with a lightning bolt in it. The song is okay, but then I’m distracted again by the extreme effeminate eyes that makes me wonder if it’s really a man. He’s accomplished, I won’t deny that, but the older populations must have been paying attention to vote this ahead of my three favourites. There may have been a vote split, and despite the positive and inspiring lyrics, I was unsold from the beginning to end. Again.. a dress..?!

And that was the day; huge disappointment for music, great thing for the radio scene with clearly a few new pop songs to hit the waves, I can only hope that Andra Chansen fairs well for my favourites instead of the crazy Swedes that seem to make different decisions than me.