crushes

There are few moments in ones life where they can say that the stars align in their favour, but I can honestly say that the evening of April 4the was one of them. I simply am left without words, which for those who know me is quite the feat.

And what do I mean by stars aligning? Well take a look first at my horoscopes for the day.

Today you might have an important discussion with your romantic partner, osky. You’ve been experiencing some intense emotions over the past few days, and you might want to share your concerns with someone. You’ll feel better if you give voice to some of your hopes and fears. By verbalizing these ideas, they will lose some of their emotional charge. You’ll soon feel calmer and more in control, and your sweetheart will appreciate your honesty.

You will be in a good mood today and ready to share your high spirits with loved ones. With the Sun square Pluto, you might decide to take your family out to a new setting, such as a special restaurant or entertainment center. If you are single, you’ll be in the mood for a change of scene, and you might venture out of town for some good times tonight.

So really having reflected upon my walk home from the bar tonight, it really does fit well. So what has happened that was so important in my life to shift the axis of my emotions from hopeless towards content? Well for starters it started with boredom in a class that I was really struggling to focus in. My attention was focused within the last five minutes of class on an individual for whom I have had strong emotions for the last 6 or so months.

Fleeting or impossible as it may be, it’s unimportant to me because I recognize the need to have something to wake up for each day and be excited about. Whether or not I see them, or will bump into them is always a mystery but out of nowhere the conversation thanks to Facebook reached a pointe where it was “what are you doing tonight?” and the stars lined up. We were going to the same location, and thus panic ensued. I spent the latter part of the the time between the middle of class and time at the bar figuring out what to where and what I was going to do.

Desperate and pathetic SMS conversations followed and I was off to the location. So what happened that made the stars align? I made a new friend, in the most odd of places (at a bar) that actually seems like a good person and someone that I can spend the next few months around that will enjoy my company and be receptive to my awesomeness. Secondly and more importantly I had extensive talks on multiple occasions with my scandalously unavailable interest. Here and there, now and then, past and present I found myself gravitated and unable to resist making conversation.

I regret nothing, I didn’t doubt myself, and I went for what I wanted and I got what I wanted and then-some. I solidified as a friendship, and I made a new connection. These are important milestones in my life and I could not wait until morning to write them down. Which reminds me I have to text someone in the morning as I promised, and I have to live up to the expectation of not being a mean person (which I’m not), but the ice queen persona will need to be hidden as much as possible if I’m willing to pursue friendship with people.

Pray for my good fortune and continued success in things that I otherwise fail at. I appreciate anything I can get, and hope that restored hope in the situation will bear fruit of the most juicy and worthy of experiences.

In the last 48 hours many things have happened, some good, some bad, but mostly confusing and good in some aspect. Firstly I have burned 4-ISO-DVD’s which means there is lots of space on my HD 🙂

Other than that let’s recap the ‘love’ that has been going on. I have had one Dutch person confess their love to me, despite being about 19 years my senior (it weirdly does not creep me out) and beg for me to date them. All I could say is that I was flattered but I would need to meet first, and then see where it goes from there.

Secondly I had a Finn confess their love to me after knowing them for a few weeks and begging me to go out on a date. Sadly I had to tell them that I was in Canada at the moment and would be going to France in September, broke their heart I think but we will see what happens. They are currently in Venezuela on vacation so!

Thirdly I had someone British nearly confess their love for me after knowing me only for about a day. The weirdest part about it, is that they were a porn star.. What the heck is up with that?! Sometimes I don’t even wan’t to know what kind of vibes I give out! Oh well I was flattered, and I will need to deal with these things as they come

Fourth, I had an Ecudorian beg me to visit them in New York (which obviously isn’t going to happen since the city is gross)! I think they are cool and all, but I’m just not into them to be honest! I will try to let them down gently, as I don’t want to hurt anyone.

What’s the deal with all this confessing and such lately? For 19 years nothing happens, and then this *plops over*… I don’t even know what to think! And on top of all this a Slovene really really really likes me and I think it’s starting to be obvious to me, weirdly enough.

*looks around frantically* Where is my wannabe mentor when I need them? omg I will explode soon, but knowing me I will only get crushes on every single one of them and then I would be in even worse of a mess than I am right now. I say blame Skype as it makes me more vulnerable to talking to people. Which reminds me ETL; 4 hour conversation still is the longest that I’ve had so far 😉 Be happy and be honoured that it was you 🙂