appropriateness

I often reflect upon this in my times of retrospection and observation of humans that walk the Earth. Some people are very physical with others, and some are very un-physical with other sand sometimes this can be cultural or geographic based, or really any other variable.

Over the course of my life, I have attempted to be more “friendly” and made honest attempts at being “physical” with friends on an appropriate level. This includes hugs, high fives, pats on the shoulders, etc. Pretty much basic stuff that can’t be much construed by anything else. But I got myself thinking…

What is the limit of appropriateness?

Is it dependant on gender-gender contact? Is it based on societal norms, or it is individually based? Is something appropriate with one, not appropriate with others, and under what circumstances?

Millions of queries could be written about this topic, but really as usual it all relates back to me. I find myself in a situation, for quite some time now, with a squishie. If you don’t know what that is, look it up. I’m aware that there are limits to relationships, I am fairly certain that it’s not going anywhere for obvious incompatibilities. And yet I find myself now second-guessing myself.

I have experienced a change in actions towards me that seems to be manifested by something else, or it could be just normal behaviour that I hadn’t noticed before. I find myself exiting the confines of my ice tower and frigid bitchdom to accept the things that are, and try not to make a fuss about it – until it becomes confusing.

And so the question remains, what is physically appropriate between friends, acquaintances, or other platonically based relationships? Is this all just natural, or are there underlining factors at play here between us? Did they get wind of my squish, and now treat me differently and to feel better about them-self? Or am I really off base with this one and it’s something more? Confusing to say the least, and while a conversation would clear it all up, I’m content with the status quo.

For the next 3 weeks I need something to wake up to, the possibility of seeing people that I am excited to see, not knowing if I will or not. I need that distraction in order to survive the final steps of my programme – but at what cost will it leave me? Will I return to the “emotionally damaged” status, or just move on, or be tormented by this for the rest of my life? Only time will tell.

And so in conclusion, what the hell is socially acceptable? I don’t think there is a definition, but I’m confused beyond belief!