It wouldn’t be the first time that someone mentioned to me that I walked my own path. In fact, if I were to really think about it, it would be something someone says to me at least once a month for what feels like a lifetime. It is so common to hear, that for the short time I had Tinder, I had Fleetwood Mac’s – Go your own way listed as my anthem.
It’s been said by my friends; it’s been said by my family members; it’s be said by co-workers; it’s been said by strangers that don’t even know me. If everyone is saying it, then it must be true, no? And so it isn’t until now that I stop to really reflect on what it means, and why it might be something to which I relate, or not.
I recently had a guest staying with me where this topic came up. Walking our own paths of course refers to our path of life, and how some people might be following a predestined path, or whether they tread down a path less trodden or more personal. This thus may remind you, dear reader, of the concept of the sheep and how they follow the masses. I think it’s fair to say that the majority of people, for the majority of their lives follow. There may be moments in their life where they go astray, but the flow is strong.
And so it makes me think about the trailblazing nature of my own life, and how most decisions in my life have caused me diverge from the masses and walk my own path down my roads, and through the empty forests. It can be a very lonely journey, I admit, but when we feel it’s right in our hearts it must be something we do, no? It wasn’t until recently that I started to consider this to not be something positive. If our heart is telling us to do something or to follow something, we are taught we should follow it. As a very intuitive person, this resonates for me. And yet, a conflict emerges.
Those that walk their own paths will undoubtedly compare the experience as if we are forging a path through deep snow. Each step is slower, and it’s unclear where the end is, as our vision is blinded. But we forge onward, trusting, and hoping that our journey brings us to a destination that we want and that is worthy of us. And yet, is this really the truth?
As I was trying to explain to someone that it’s okay to walk their own path, a dark thought kept coming up as I was giving advice. Is it really something that I should be recommending to someone? Do I really want to lead people down this path, knowing, that it often ends up being a painful and lonely road? Do these people have the mental and emotional fortitude to be able to manage this and the swings and twists and turns that happen? I used to think so, but this sinking feeling arose in my gut that perhaps it wasn’t such a good thing to recommend.
Perhaps we think it’s good to follow our hearts and go down our own paths, but when we reflect upon where we end up, we look back in retrospect in order to asses if we were right. Without realising I was doing it, subconsciously I was making that evaluation and posed myself these questions: Where am I? Where did these paths lead me? Is this right for me? Would I be happier or better off if I followed the other paths?
While these questions, technically, should be rhetorical I couldn’t help answering them myself. I’m sitting in an empty apartment in a town where I only have acquaintances. Career wise I’ve managed to scrape something together and find (relative) stability, but am I really living? Posing this question might suggest I think the contrary.
So why do we do it? Why do we recommend it? Why do we encourage and prise people that do it? Why do we guide other people down the same paths and encourage them, even with the best of intentions, despite the sinking feeling that perhaps it’s not for everyone, or even that it’s perhaps not done me well? That must be the sinking feeling I have been feeling lately, and when speaking to someone about it I felt such a hesitation.
And so it brings me back to that anthem by the classic Fleetwood Mac. I guess the message, purpose, or meaning of song really rings more true than originally thought. Lost forever shall I be, forging onwards deeper into the depths of the lost forest.
Or maybe I should just get more into orientering, and bring the lostness to real fruition.
Quite an interesting topic to write. I quite agree that treading down an unknown path seems like more of frightening experience and most of the times the people who take these path tend to look at other persons and think of what could have been the case if a normal path would have been followed by them. But again if we look at things people who take the normal path aren’t that satisfied too – they tend to look at others with unique paths and think themselves maybe it would have been an exciting experience to do something other than a mundane life pattern set for us by modern culture at birth.
I have also noticed that it is human tendency to look and adore the things which he himself couldn’t have had or experienced. We are programmed to always look for more and want more even though we might have had the experiences which millions of people couldn’t even comprehend in their wildest of dreams. Yet again advising someone to take an own path is somewhat quite scary as mentioned by you, I mean it is not easy to do something different than a normal culture and be somewhat different to others and honestly I would also refrain from such an advice because sometimes people don’t want to have a different experience they are satisfied with following the masses and to them they are quite happy with it too.
I guess one should do whatever one feels and thinks is the best of himself, once embarked on a different path there are always times when you think for yourself whether or not I have made a huge mistake doing this but in the end I always tell myself in that in the end it doesn’t matter – the only thing that matters is to be satisfied with what you wanted in life and what you have done to achieve that. The following quote from BoJack Horseman sums it up in the best of ways:
“We’re not doomed. In the great grand scheme of things, we’re just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten. So, it doesn’t matter what we did in the past, or how we’ll be remembered. The only thing that matters is right now, this moment, this one spectacular moment we are sharing”