I make up words, especially when I’m trying to describe something that I don’t think has an actual word in which to use. English is flexible, so I take full advantage of it at every opportunity that I can.
There was a time in the recent past where I was discussing intimacy and the different facets of it. In this conversation, a phenomenon was brought up that intrigued me and made me reflect upon my own experiences. My friend was describing how when two people are falling asleep or cuddling together, they find that their heartbeats and breathing patterns begin to synchronize. This act, according to my friend, is what creates a level of intimacy that helps bring people together.
I agreed with my friend in principle, but when it comes to stuff like this, I tend to have a different experience to demonstrate that it’s not always the case. And so the short story begins. It was a dark and cold night in the past, and upon falling asleep with someone that I was quite fond of, I noticed this breathing and heartbeat experience. Though what I notice was contrary to my friend’s assertion; my body was actually actively working against the natural synchronizing of breath and heartbeat despite me wanting it to work.
It raises a question: why would this happen to nearly everyone in the human race, but not me? Well then it just reminds me that I am one of the 0.000001% of the human population who share the similar emotional and (semi)physical needs. It ends up being more of an affirmation of what I believe I’m about, and how I’m not like others, not on the same page, not even on the same planet.
While revelations like this can be very important to self-development, it’s also a very sombre discovery. To know that your body and soul, despite what you want, actively works against you is a very solemn concept. It just demonstrates more that it’s not a choice, or a decision, or a fault in the human makeup, it’s part of what nature has created. It makes a person feel more distant, unconventional, and incompatible with the other 99.9999999% of the human population.
I guess the question remains, in what other ways can a person be dissynchronous with its kin?