So it’s been a few days, and despite many wishes of wellness, happiness, and good fortune I can’t help but start to think about it. I’m at an age now that I’m feeling quite a bit older than I was, but still stuck in major ruts in my life. My self-worth is very diminished as I’ve aged a lot since I last did an assessment. It’s quite depressing, but totally liveable.

Having said that I couldn’t help but reflect on the last few days and hope that they aren’t what I should be expecting for the next 363 days. For one, I have no energy and really have very little motivation to do anything. Secondly, after saving up points from the arcade to buy the huge banana body pillow yesterday, we went to the cinema, came out and the banana was gone.

Besides the fact that the film was saw was a total mind fuck, thank you very much Inception, but I was informed by the clerk that 20 minuts earlier they ‘finally got rid of it.’ I thought I was dreaming, after months of saving up points to purchase it I was finally at that stage, and them boom my luck.

I’ve never thought of myself as a lucky person, but the last few days have just proven it. I sort of thought that I was dreaming, and needed to snap myself out of it. I sort of also wanted to just crawl up and die for no particular reason. The tears were forming in my eyes, but attempting to recapture the stoicism that I know so well, managed to keep it together.

All I can ask is two words: “Why me?!”