It’s been about a year now since I haven’t played a match in tennis, and it’s kind of making me really sad and depressed. I was looking through some old photos of when I went to Ottawa for a tournament, and I found some videos and such and while I was listening to them it made me think of something…
In all the tournaments that I took part in during the time there, and all the stuff that I did to contribute to the ‘team’ and everything, I never got anything in return. All the times that I would cheer people on through tough matches, or even through easy matches, I never was supported. Nobody even ever watched my matches. I thought of it way back when, and it probably contributed a large portion to my lack of self worth and self confidence, but it didn’t become so pronounced until I saw the video where Lindsey, clearly says to Kyle “Common Kyle, you can do it!”
I can’t remember how many times that I looked to my coach sometimes for support, or to people I knew, only to find them looking elsewhere in my time of need. Why do people do this, when I’m so supportive to them? Why can’t people return favours? Why am I expected to survive such enduring hardships?
So many questions with no answers; except the one that I know. They just didn’t care. So why did I? Thought provoking, no?
On a happier note, I am going to send an e-mail to the tennis club in Strasbourg to get info on membership and how to find people to play with.