When it comes down to it, I really am very dynamic and I don’t know what to think about a lot of things. But really today is quite different than most other days, especially when I’m in this *blüb* mood. Really when I get depressed and lay down and can’t move or think or do anything it’s usually late at night and I can just go to bed and not worry about it until the day later.

Well today was the first day every that I got into this mood in the afternoon, and it feels like I am crashing and burning since about noon. So I decided that I’m just about sick of feeling like crap, and yet it’s not changing anytime soon I can see, because my feelings are not co-operating. Laying in bed with a pillow over your head just sucks, and although sadly it doesn’t cut off oxygen for some reason. I am going to get Kees to talk to R and see why he’s being such a jerk and ignorining me. Kees seems to know the entire situation, and unfortunately without me saying most of it, because apparently it’s quite obvious what’s going on.

All I’m going to have him ask (becasue he wants to ask I’m sure) is: “What’s going on between you and Osky?” and then we see what happens from there. Knowing Kees, he will ask lots of questions and get to the bottom of this, since he is close enough with R to know if he’s telling the truth or not.

My life is such a joke all the time, and on top of everything else I’ve got another Finn, Tommy, trying to cheer me up and being emphathetic since he understands casue “He’s been there” despite having a girlfriend who he’s ‘on break’ with. Not only do I get upset in this mood, but I get really snappy as we can see. Tommy is cool, but really I can’t deal with him right now, thank goodness he went to bed. Now all I need to do is hang around in *blüb room* until someone notices me being alone in that room. Oh and for the record, if my parents come anywhere close to my door or even dare come in, I am snapping so hard that I throw the bookstand at them, I’m not in the mood for them right now, and if they have any brains at all, they would have noticed that I’m in a foul mood at dinner. Serves them right for making me make a good-damn fish for them that I can’t even eat becasue it’s got tomatoes in it: purposely.