A few years ago a former roommate of mine brought it to my attention that Valentines Day, is actually named Singles Awareness Day, reference post here. After reading a few comments in blogs and forums I’ve come to the funny realization as a reflection from a few years ago. I used to think that it was a depressing day where people rub their relationships in your face, but really I see it differently now.

Since it’s a day of awareness, it simply is the fact that the day brings it more to light that you’re single. Is this really such a bad thing – no of course! It makes me wonder and think: I’m way better off being single, asexual, and totally awesome as I am, than in a relationship where I’m not happy or am confused.

I’ve gone through the entire day without feeling oppressed, pressured, irritated, or in any form negative about the fact that it’s a commercial holiday celebrating love between people. I actually think I’m kind of better off being single, but that’s besides the point. The point of course is that obviously I’ve grown since a few years ago and I don’t feel so “woe is me” in my situation. It may be realistically possible that I’ll be single for a very long time, possibly the rest of my life, but obviously in the span of two years, I’ve come to terms with that.

And for that, go me! I’m so freakin’ awesome that I’m going to crack my iTunes, and belt a power ballad which will remain nameless.

Simply devine was the second semifinal last night. I simply can’t find words to describe it, it was amazing in every sense of the word. However good it was, I was left shocked, in tears, and confused all in the one and half-hours that it went on for. Firstly, Petra Mede did a great job again, and although less changes of clothing this time, still funny and enjoyable. I spent the evening watching the webcast with my friend Tuomas, and we commented on little things as it went on. Hats off to SVT for having an amazing feed, where I don’t need to download any application, and even great quality for us shmucks that don’t live in Sweden or the SVT1 areas.

Lili & Susie – Show me heaven
=> Andra Chansen
❗ Personal Favourite

Skullefteå.01.Lili & Susie

What do you get when you have a Finnish sister duo with a hit from the 80’s and put them back on stage in Melodifestivalen? You get a great hit, of course. A techno-schlager song to boot even still. The blondies took it one step at a time and opened the show with a great hit. Got me dancing, got me singing, but I was less than impressed with their English pronunciation. At times it sounded very strange, but luckily it goes into Andra Chansen. Personally I think it should have taken the second ticket to Globen, but tonight the Swedish people were smoking something.

Lasse Lindh & Bandet – Jag slåss i dina kvarter!

Skullefteå.02.Lasse Lindh & Bandet

What happened Lasse? Last year it was so good, and this year it was simply catastrophic. The music itself was a little bit too rock-boyish for me, and I preferred the song from last year, but also the camera-work left me dizzy and not sure what was going on. It makes taking a screenshot even more difficult, but I just don’t blame the Swedish public for not voting it in, because I felt it was a very weak song compared to the rest this year. Still a huge fan of Lasse, but this song just doesn’t work it for me. The band was distracting me as well.

Jennifer Brown – Never been here before

Skullefteå.03.Jennifer Brown

I was left a little confused and bored by this song. It’s a nice little song from the 70’s feeling put into modern times but Jennifer seemed out of breath and just not with any umph. The screen fooled me thinking there were about 30 people on stage, but it really just was her and the musicians. It’s an alright song, but not enough to grab the attention of everyone and to get voted right into Globen. Consequently it was left in seventh place. The song was close and personal, but I was still missing some sort of glitter, or sparkle that the song needed. This was also one of my picks for International Jury, as it’s a generally good and well liked type of song, but clearly nobody listens to me. Better luck next time. 🙂

H.E.A.T. – 1000 Miles
=> Qualified

Skullefteå.04.H.E.A.T.

Keeping with the theme of going back in time we have the rock band right out of the 80’s coming at us. Even with the hair, and outfits it’s literally like we turned back the clock. Lots of Finnish and Northern representatives this time, as they all look a bit Finnish and have Finno names. I think the chorus is good but the verses are just normal rock stuff mixed with an upbeat tempo. It doesn’t do much on stage, and I was shocked an appalled when it went directly to Globen. I think it was more of an andra chansen song. Never-the-less we will see the mullets, and band again in 4 weeks time. How tragic.

Markoolio – Kärlekssång från mig
❗ Personal Favourite

Skullefteå.05.Markoolio

I’ve got a lot to say about this one. First of all I love Markoolio. I think that he’s adorable, even thought he’s Finnish and has a weird smile. This song was not what I expected at all from him and it seemed a lot out of his element. Firstly I didn’t know that he was a decent singer, as he’s normally a rapper, but the Finnish-Swedish migrant really impressed me. Pinkish wasn’t really the best colour, but I feel that his personality came out a little bit in this song, being a little bit joking and funny. What didn’t the song have? Nothing. It had someone come out of a piano in skates, and then skate awkwardly on a pad of ice, and then get lit on fire. I’m not even joking, I think it’s fabulous. It’s also fitting because it was on Valentines Day and it’s a love song! Other than that, I noticed how painfully nervous and uncomfortable he looked the entire evening. He sang with confidence yet insecurity, and then in the green room he just sat there with his hands in his lap, clapping politely, and trying to not interact with others. I think that he felt a little out of place, especially in the clothes he was wearing, but I am so proud. I just don’t like how people always put so much emphasis on the big stars, and completely forget about the others. He looked alone, sad, lonely and really distanced from the rest of the singers. It made me sad. Other than that, should have been andra chansen, and it’s hella cute that his best friend is his doggy; but I wonder, is he married?

Amy Diamond – It’s my life
=> Andra Chansen

Skullefteå.06.Amy Diamond

I have to rip into this one because it bothers me so much. I understand that Amy is very popular and has lots of hits, but people come on! This is hits for kids, and nothing else. She looks like a kid, even though she’s getting older, she sounds like a dying cat in a dumpster. I’m trying to be nice here. Her vowels, while singing, are painful to the ear and are drawn out with a whine that I commented on last year. Nobody listens to me at all, but from a musical perspective that’s what it sounds like! In addition to that, with the dancers and the whole package it’s an ok song, just I can’t stand her voice. It’s just like needles to my ears, but despite that I still like her generally as a singer. Her lower register needs major work as it sounds unnatural and uncomfortable. She was chosen to go to Andra Chansen (ok) and also as the International Jury (what?!). I will comment on this later.

Cookies ‘n’ Beans – What if

Skullefteå.07.Cookies 'n' Beans

So we bring back some country ballads, again with the cats in the back dumpster. The song itself is good, nothing special, but a few of them sing with a scratchy tone in their voices. It just doesn’t fit with the genre and thus it left me sort of bland feeling in my mouth. It beat out some good songs to get to the second voting round, but was justly left. I’m just really really surprised when it was called into the next round, I was thinking that maybe the voting was a little bit weird, and that for some god-forsaken reason people in Sweden like country? Huh?!!

Måns Zelmerlöw – Hope & Glory
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite

Skullefteå.08.Måns Zelmerlöw

Han kan sjunga, han kan dansa, han kan bli hot-as-fuck. Den här är, vad vi heter på engelska, en triple-threat. He’s got it all. The looks, the voice, the moves and this song is the classic Melodifestivalen anthem that lit a fire in my heart. Last year I went on and on about him and how I want to bear his children and such, and it all still stands true (somehow, someday!) but this song quite literally brought me to tears. I was a blubbering idiot towards the end. It’s a happy upbeat song, but the message that it sends out and the method in which he performs it left me with chills down my spine. Henrik Wikström, Frederik Kempe and Måns, you outdid yourself and I can only hope that this is top-2 in the final. If it isn’t, thus far, I will cry and the world will come to an end. This one will be getting an ode to in the coming days, I assure you. Also, he was clearly genuinely happy to do so well, and that makes me happy too! B)

I think this international jury is a huge fraud and a joke. It’s supposed to chose songs that it thinks will fit and do well in Eurovision, but so far it’s just picking songs that are either already qualified, but also that are not really European-classics. They are mostly just popular-ish songs that could do decently well, but not necessarily win. I think there could be a better way to make the judgements, as even though it votes a certain way, it must be taking the 2nd or 3rd choices because in my opinion it should have been Jennifer Brown, this week. It’s the most widely-opened genre, and thus it has a greater chance for attention, demographically!

All in all the night was amazing. The voting went fucked up with Cookies ‘n’ Beans, and there were midgits on fire on stage, homosexual jokes, wigs, and old favourites all in one night. All I can say to Skullefteå is: vem gör den bästa? De norramännen självklart! The north always does the best, so na-na-na-na-boo-boo southerners!

Hussian brought something amazing to my attention halfway throught the week as we were approaching what the world would call St. Valentine’s Day, which us singles refer to as “Singles Awareness Day” in bitterness. It’s not so much the day that bothers me so much, since I’m sure St. Valentin was important, I just think that it becomes a bit ridiculus. Even amongst friends, who exchange valentines, or don’t, there are always those that are left out and don’t even get wished a good day.

One of those, ironically, is me. I sit in the conservatory for a good five hours, and people come and go being all happy and spreading their love amogst each other, and I am left to vegitate on the couch doing homework in bitterness. In fact, I woke up quite thinking that the day would be good, but as hours progressed it just got worse and worse, to a point that by 1am of the 15th, I was at Ducky’s bar, drinking my life away getting more and more bitter.

In any case, it was just a rought week, being compacted on other horrible weeks, and only now I’m just starting to realise that I need a vacation a lot, not only to get ahead on some work, but also to just relax. Only one week to go, and then I’m homefree.

Back on track; I went to Sargeant Kate’s Lonley Singles Party to sooth my troubles, and there was quiche; so I was happy! But then I kept backing the drinks down, and the next thing I know we are at Ducky’s and I can’t manage to stand, but yet I can still articulate quite well. I talked to Brian for a good few hours; or basically we argued about my life, and I can tell that he’s quite dissapointed in me and my attitudes. This doesn’t surprise me, but his awesomeness made me feel at least like a good person; but good people never get anywhere in life.

I stumbled home, fell a few times, wished that someone would come bash me and hide me in an ice-pile (which unfortunately never happend). After arriving at our trecherous driveway, I stumbled a few times in the cold, and then struggled to get up the stairs. I feared throwing up so I downed two letres of water to sooth myself, and then fell asleep like a baby.

I woke up, not going to Vocal Methods because I felt like death, and then progressively I studied for my women’s literature mid-term, which I wrote still drunk I think. And then I took a nap, and I started to feel the effects of being hung-over, and thus I mosied around the house looking and feeling like death! Even now as I wake up two days later, I’m still hung over and in desperate need of Rania taking me to meal-hall so I can lick my wounds and eat my emptiless stomach until it hurts and I regret living and feeling bloated.

I have work to do this weekend, and then next week will kick my ass no doubt; but it’s okej. Somehow I will get through it, and the first way to do so it to watch Melodifestivalen that’s on this afternoon. Oddly timezones are doing strange things with me, last week it was six hours different, but now I’m only four hours behind, and thus three to Iceland. I wonder what’s up with that, as daylight savings time is far too early; but I am noticing that it’s not dark when I get home from classes, and this alone makes me more productive!

First and foremostly important comment on this day: Get bent and drop dead. I could go on a rant about how commercialised this holiday is, but frankly I would just be going against everything I believed in as a child. Who didn’t love making the little valentines and giving them to other people in their little cubby-holes or baskets made for their desks. Or receiving candy-grams in high school, or should I say more likely delivering them. But those time have passed and I’ve sadly become a 20 year old bitter person, so instead of bitching about comercialisation I will just have a reflection on the glorious day.

Secondly, what the hell is with this S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day), that’s the biggest load of crap I’ve heard since Carla denying botox (as if eh?). Anyways, that’s just some retarded day for single people to make themselves feel better about all the lovey-dovey crap that’s going around. Well I for one won’t stand for it. Be ashamed of yourselves people; it makes me roll my eyes, which makes me tired, which makes me want to be unproductive… Bottom line, it’s not good for me!

So as I’m sitting here burning rose insense with my candle, reflecting on Valentines Day, I can’t help but talk about what  I did for the ‘glourious’ day. I woke up at 12.00 for my 13.00 class, I dressed in all black and emo. When I say emo, for all those who don’t know what emo means, it’s emotional. Refer to Google Images for emo style reference. The all black really did work wonders compared to everyone else, where pink, red, and purple seemed to dominate. What makes the day even better was the pathetic fallacy, the rain that didn’t sease! Right, back to emo. So waking up, and praying to myself that I only spend 1 hour in public, turned out fine. I went to class, came back, and went back to bed and stayed as a hermit for the remainder of the day, except dinner where I felt the need to binge on unhealthy food.

I’m forgetting important deails, an emo can’t be emo without black eyeliner and little tear drops drawn in. Don’t ask for photos, because such things don’t exist as I wasn’t in public long enough to be noticed. However, having said that my trip to the McDonald’s was extremely eventful (unfortunately). Why can’t people just take a hint, emos don’t want to be talked to. Honestly!

So I’m standing in line at McDonalds trying to think of why my line is going the slowest, but it makes perfect sense.. Karma, right!? Anyways, so I get tapped on the shoulder by three other emos. I rolled my eyes and asked myself “Why me?” And turned around again. But of course these weren’t real emos of course, just fake ones who seemed to find me extremely attractive. Why is it that when we want to be not-noticed, we get noticed the most? Anyways, I get asked to come home with them so that they can, and I quote, “Show me a good time.” I laughed in their face, and told them that they should wish that, and thank god the cashier opened up.

Can’t people take a hint, that maybe other people’s wishes about not celebrating holidays should be respected? Can’t people take a hint that maybe the eroticisms that they enjoy aren’t looked well upon by others; like seriously and orgy, kidding right (I hoped so)? Whatever, I just came back to my room and binged on food, and it was oh so good. I even went to bed fairly early so all in all it was a good day.

I guessed I didn’t call myself the anti-christ of love and St:Valentin for no reason! Represent what you believe in (bitches!)!! Okej, I’m done trying to be ghetto; I’m far too white, and far too classy to even attempt to pull that off.