When is it just for one to be emotionally thrashed? Is there a judge in the universe that would order such a thing to happen? Is it fair that anyone is thrashed about emotionally?

The answer to all of these questions according to my own philosophies is obviously negative; no person deserves to be emotionally thrashed. So what types of these circumstances would occur?

The Strangers
Bumping into people randomly through life, that you have never seen or vaguely know obviously has less value as they have know basis upon which to judge or asses. It’s like wailing in the air attempting to land a blow, which may hurt, but never sting.

The Acquaintance
A person that knows a little about you or that has met you a few times bears a stronger punch only because they have some basis upon which to bare their hurt. Often examples of this are friends of friends trying to inflict pain upon other people to be benefit themselves or their friends.

The Friend
Piqued by the pain of a friend saying rude things and judging someone is a difficult scar to heal, because it’s based on some truth, knowledge, and understanding of a person. Often examples of this type of emotional thrashing, is betrayal of a friend. Why would a best friend sleep with their best friend’s partner? Jealousy if often the root of this particular branch.

The Partner
A scar that lasts because it’s betrayal with a poison that doesn’t allow to be healed. Often occurs in “tiffs” or “breaks” for relationships, but in my opinion it doesn’t make much sense because a partner is someone upon whom one should rely for emotional support. It’s akin to being kicked while you’re down.

The Family
Perhaps the most grievous and deadly of all betrayals; the one of blood. In olden days such treatment would be blasphemous, and today it’s similar to hurting oneself. Why would a brother, sister, parent, cousin, aunt, uncle inflict such harm upon a person? If not to harm them, but to kill them inside; nothing else.

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When it comes down to it, I really am very dynamic and I don’t know what to think about a lot of things. But really today is quite different than most other days, especially when I’m in this *blüb* mood. Really when I get depressed and lay down and can’t move or think or do anything it’s usually late at night and I can just go to bed and not worry about it until the day later.

Well today was the first day every that I got into this mood in the afternoon, and it feels like I am crashing and burning since about noon. So I decided that I’m just about sick of feeling like crap, and yet it’s not changing anytime soon I can see, because my feelings are not co-operating. Laying in bed with a pillow over your head just sucks, and although sadly it doesn’t cut off oxygen for some reason. I am going to get Kees to talk to R and see why he’s being such a jerk and ignorining me. Kees seems to know the entire situation, and unfortunately without me saying most of it, because apparently it’s quite obvious what’s going on.

All I’m going to have him ask (becasue he wants to ask I’m sure) is: “What’s going on between you and Osky?” and then we see what happens from there. Knowing Kees, he will ask lots of questions and get to the bottom of this, since he is close enough with R to know if he’s telling the truth or not.

My life is such a joke all the time, and on top of everything else I’ve got another Finn, Tommy, trying to cheer me up and being emphathetic since he understands casue “He’s been there” despite having a girlfriend who he’s ‘on break’ with. Not only do I get upset in this mood, but I get really snappy as we can see. Tommy is cool, but really I can’t deal with him right now, thank goodness he went to bed. Now all I need to do is hang around in *blüb room* until someone notices me being alone in that room. Oh and for the record, if my parents come anywhere close to my door or even dare come in, I am snapping so hard that I throw the bookstand at them, I’m not in the mood for them right now, and if they have any brains at all, they would have noticed that I’m in a foul mood at dinner. Serves them right for making me make a good-damn fish for them that I can’t even eat becasue it’s got tomatoes in it: purposely.

Okay so I guess it was more of a nightmare becasue I woked up about 20 times last night in paranoia each time because of this dream.. Here’s how it goes:

My parents are trying to ‘steal’ my eyes by killing me or something, so I escape from the back yard to neighbours house where I ask for help and they invite me in to stay with them. I’ve never seen them before, but they are across the street and have a cinema in their living room. It’s really weird, and doesn’t make sense I know but still… It’s important. So the neighbours protect me from my evil parents and him and her have a son and daughter around my age that go to school, and they all study French like me, so I stay at home in locked house while everyone goes to school / does housework. My adopted brother and sister are both really attractive, so I feel awkward since I don’t seem to belong, but then my parents come to try to kidnap me, and my brother saves me, and then I don’t remember some stuff.

So then my new parents set up a meeting with the crazy old parents and they discuss what is going on while I am in chains becasue my eyes are wanted so badly (by the way, yes I know I have amazing eyes:P)

So in the end, I end up living with the new parents and be happier because they actually love me for once and appreciate my company. My normal family is the opposite, and it doesn’t suprise me that in the dream they were trying to kill me, but the whole neighbourhood was all deserted and from the window I could see my old house and the sketchy parents talking to people all the time, plotting the revenge.

How odd eh? I will look the meanings up in my dream book and then write about them later, since now it’s naptime for me as I taught yoga at 06.00 this morning!