As the excitement built up, there were rumours of a huge landslide of votes towards a specific country, and as usual Scandinavia usually anticiapates the winner, and sure enough were right again… On to the show!

Azerbaijan – Safura
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.01.Azerbaijan - Safura

Tonight’s performance of Safura was much better than the semi-final. Her voice seemed a little more comfortable, and a little more diva-with-a-punch, but more importantly I think that she didn’t look like she was all drugged up. Her eyes were a little more “normal” this evening and made the empathetic song and fantastically lyricised song, much more effective. It doesn’t hurt that she’s a looker, also! I will continue to adore this song for years to come, and may even do a performance of it myself on a special occasion!

Spain – Daniel Diges
FN.02.Spain - Daniel Diges

I’ve gotta say, based on past years entries by Span, I wasn’t expecting something decent but this turned out a lot better. It’s still short of a favourite for me, because I’m biased towards Mediterranean countries, but damn can that guy sing! The performance was done twice as there was a famous person that interrupted the show; but check out Daniel’s professionalism without even taking much notice or it not affecting his singing. Something tells me it was planned..

Norway – Didrik Solli-Tangen
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.03.Norway - Didrik Solli-Tangen

This song is without a doubt, unarguably my anthem henceforth. This song speaks to me on such an intimate and horribly deep level. Norway really sent something special this year, and despite a clearly nervous Didrik and his quavering voice towards the beginning, this epic Gosh Groban-brotherish song makes me hair on the back of my neck raise up. It doesn’t hurt that it was written by a favourite composer of mine, incidentally a Swede: Fredrik Kempe! I will sing this song at the wedding that I’ll never have, I swear it henceforth!

Moldova – SunStroke Project and Olia Tira
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.04.Moldova - SunStroke Project and Olia Tira

I’ve said it before; the hip thrusting Moldovan saxophone player on screen is sexy. These singers are having a lot of fun and it’s very clear. That guy’s voice is still unexpected for me, but I find myself jumping all over the place for this. It’s just that awesome, and fared decently!

Cyprus – Jon Lilygreen and The Islanders
FN.05.Cyprus - Jon Lilygreen and The Islanders

I heard this guy was Welsh and all hope for this song was washed down the drain. It doesn’t help that he keeps trying to expose his naked body in the previews, and then compounded with his Welshness and the fat background singer and it’s a disaster. He’s painfully boyband and has that dreamy look about him, but it doesn’t work for me! The guy with the guitar only works under certain circumstances for me, and the one that worked was later in the show… 😉

Bosnia & Herzegovina – Vukašin Brajić
FN.06.Bosnia & Herzegovina - Vukašin Brajić

This song really grew on me this second time around. I’m not a huge fan of rock music, but he’s just very entertaining to watch, and Bosnia & Herzegovina seem to really throw their best acts in into the mix every year! A red jacket, and a faux-hock really seem to work. When the Thunder and Lightening come, we will be saved, or something… I don’t get the reference of melting ice, but it’s okay because they are foreign.

Belgium – Tom Dice
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.07.Belgium - Tom Dice

The dice were thrown, and Flemish Belgians threw their contender in with ernest desire to win the competition. Whether this song will have ever one is up for debate, but it’s the feel-good favourite of the year and it’s so charming that we all just want to go up to the guy and hug him because he’s so painfully adorable! It was a great contender with it’s simplicity and it’s charm, and to a certain extent all of Europe agrees with me.

Serbia – Milan Stanković
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.08.Serbia - Milan Stanković

I still maintain my current view that this guy is painfully ambiguous, but I can’t deny that he’s a great singer, and he’s having a hell of a time on stage (something I neglected to mention in my semi-final analysis). I’m still disturbed by hearing “puta” a lot, but I’m sure it has a pure vision and meaning in Serbian. Since this competition, on a personal note, I’ve heard some music by Milan and it’s good shit. He’s a porcelain performer, but in all my critique I have yet to mention that if his skin is natural, I’m so jealous that I’ll turn green with envy!

Belarus – 3+2 feat. Robert Wells
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.09.Belarus - 3+2 feat. Robert Wells

As horrible as the singer’s English is, it didn’t improve in the least since the semi-finals; in fact it got even worse but I still like butterflies. Anyone that puts wings on and is pretty goes over well with me. I still don’t get why Robert Wells is on stage, and where he comes into the mix. Has his career in Sweden really gone so far downhill that he had to venture to Belarus? Weird… At least they didn’t come last!

Ireland – Niamh Kavanagh
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.10.Ireland - Niamh Kavanagh

I like the song, it was a bore on stage, she sang better this time around and didn’t sound sick, but really the recording is better. There isn’t enough in this performance to comment on, apart from the purple dress irritated me more each time I saw it. Maybe it’s because she’s ginger?

Greece – Giorgos Alkaios and Friends
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.11.Greece - Giorgos Alkaios and Friends

I’m still disturbed from this performance. I still vehemently are against the southern culture of ‘closeness’ but this song turns me on. Half naked dancers singing about lord knows what, and thrusting their bodies all around and grunting.. what’s not to like? I’m not entirely sure that Giorgos’ decision to wear white was good thing or not… it’s never been a slimming colour for anyone!

United Kingdom – Josh Dubovie
FN.12.United Kingdom - Josh Dubovie

How could things go so wrong after a decent run last year? First of all this guy’s surname puts the whole show off for me. Dubovie seems to be a misspelling to me, but it’s just that he’s British. I mean he’s cute to look at, a below-decent singer, but this song isn’t really a song. The whole length of the song I struggled to follow a melody or recognize it by anything. It’s just so bland it hurts; plus the background singers were making it even worse. What was happening on stage by the way? The last note of the song is so painfully out of key, it makes me cringe. No wonder it came dead last!

Georgia – Sopho Nizharadze
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.13.Georgia - Sopho Nizharadze

I like this song but I loathe it’s visual representation. It’s too busy, it’s too dancy, it’s too everything. Why can’t it just have been something simple like the song kind of implies? Poor decision to dance it up, Georgia, but I still like the song so kudos for that! What’s the deal with all these people named Sopho?! Is it like one of those weird mormon “Elder” titles or something? lol1

Turkey – maNga
FN.14.Turkey - maNga

I noticed second time around with this song that the rockers are wearing eyeliner: that’s hot. A very well established Turkish rock group performing in Eurovision can only result in one thing: decent results, and as expected they did well. If it had less of a rap feeling, it would be better for me, but alas one can’t win them all. For all this time, I’ve been loving something else!

Albania – Juliana Pasha
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.15.Albania - Juliana Pasha

Go Albania Go! Take your bitchin’ English and seductively simple nature and rock us into the next decade?! We’ve been down, and something tells me that it’s getting better, so stick around! If it were about the things that I did, then the rest of the world wouldn’t understand me. Her lyrics are awesome, and they fit so well into everything. Purple bubbles also make me happy. Albania rocks my socks!

Iceland – Hera Björk
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.16.Iceland - Hera Björk

I got a bitchin’ screencap for this one didn’t I? I love this song; it’s a gay anthem, and it’s message and tune will rock the Scandinavian discos forever and ever. I want to follow my emotions. It did decently well too, but something tells me that next year Iceland is going to thrown in something not so good into the mix. I mean, they nearly won last year, and then send a good song, but you can’t do well every every year, can you? Please please please don’t mess it up!

Ukraine – Alyosha
FN.17.Ukraine - Alyosha

Go home, Ukraine. How you got through the semi-final is beyond me, and every time I see or hear this song I just shudder with disgust. Is there a melody, is there a point, is there anything other than a skanky looking Eastern European girl on stage? Her English isn’t so hot either…

France – Jessy Matador
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.18.France - Jessy Matador

Shake yur booty, babies! France really went for it this year; with a good dancing, and hip artist that traditionally has sung very Congolese type dance songs. He had a really popular couple of albums in France, and his song here in Eurovision is actually something to vote for! It’s fun, it’s dancy, it’s decently and professionally put together. It’s tough to beat France’s entry last year with Patricia Kaas, but it was a decent throw into the mix! Allez la France!

Romania – Paula Seling and Ovi
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.19.Romania - Paula Seling and Ovi

Keep on rockin’ Romania! Don’t disappoint me, because over the last years you’ve done awesomely. Eventually you’ll win with a truly outrageous song, I swear it! See-through pianos, and two great singers with great backing vocals all equal a fantatastic performance! Eat your heart out, Mariah Carey (who squeals and squeaks, but has nothin’ on Paula!)

Russia – Peter Nalitch and Friends
FN.20.Russia - Peter Nalitch and Friends

This song really grew on me but I still don’t get the card thing… I get that he’s in love and he’s praying sort of, but I don’t really get any of the other lyrics. When he speaks of embraces and then sings his little heart out I sort of sigh and develop a bro-crush, but that’s as far as it gets.. In the end I do like this song but it’s just short of a favourite.

Armenia – Eva Rivas
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.21.Armenia - Eva Rivas

Armenia offers up their apricot stone, and the gorgeous Eva Rivas dances around on stage and maintains a good singing voice. Armenia has some great artists, who evidently live in Russia, but still manage to represent their country well. I’ll keep on dancin’ to this one for a long time. Only further to this, I just wish her boobs weren’t falling out of her dress…

Germany – Lena
=> Winner
FN.22.Germany - Lena

Well Germany finally won after years of fruitless attempts. It’s not the worst English singing, because the poor girl can speak English perfectly, but it’s just done in such a creative and strange way that makes us all question how well she can speak. It’s a simple song and performance and yay it won, but why does she appear so high and out of it each time she’s interviewed? I mean she’s like a teenager and she won, but I swear she was on drugs or at least seemed to be.

Portugal – Filipa Azevedo
FN.23.Portugal - Filipa Azevedo

This song still irriatates me, and the Portugese language hurts my ears. That’s all I have to say.

Israel – Harel Skaat
FN.24.Israel - Harel Skaat

The draw seemed to really hurt my ears… He’s an ok singer, but I still contend that he’s singing out of tune 80% of the time.

Denmark – Chanée and N’evergreen
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.25.Denmark - Chanée and n'evergreen

The ‘normal’ run of the songs turn out with this classic schlager song: Tack Danmark! The windblowers were a bit much, but since the existence of Carola, you can’t get through a schlager song without massive amounts of wind. It’s a feel good favourite, and my God it did surprisingly well. Who knew that could happen!?

FN.00.11 Nadia Hasnaoui, Erik Solbakken, and Haddy N'jie

What a fantastically amazing show this one. I swear it was by far the best Final I’ve seen in awhile; congrats Norway on that. Special thanks go to our lovely hosts, who not only can speak English well, but can make jokes, and be cute all at the same time. Thanks Erik Solbakken, Haddy N’jie, and Nadia Hasnaoui for a fantastic job; truly top notch!

FN.00.08 Madcon

Now what about the show during the voting tabulations? This year it was by far the most amusing and most fun: a flashmob across Europe lead by Madcon! Cities all across Europe participated in the flashmob, and families in Europe opened their homes to the competition and their celebrations. Special mention go to the flashmob dancers in:

The fans in Oslo, Norway Live! (pictured)
The kids in Reykjavík, Iceland (pictured)
FN.00.01 Oslo CrowdFN.00.02 Icelandic dacners in Reykjavík
The awesome fans in Ljubljana, Slovenia (pictured)
The dancers (led by the awesome black girl!) in Gothenburn, Sweden (pictured)
FN.00.03 Slovene dancers in LjubljanaFN.00.04 Swedish dancers in Gothenburg
The awesomly dedicated dancers in Vilnius, Lithuania (pictured)
The huge crowd in Düsseldorf, Germany (pictured)
FN.00.05 Lithuanian dancers in VilniusFN.00.06.German dancers in Düsseldorf
The most co-ordinated flashmob dancers in Dublin, Ireland (pictured)
The overcroweded party in Malta
The cute Azerbaijani family
The dancing Russian dog and friends
The French old lady who falls down
The overweigh Swiss man dancing
The guy yelling Opa! in Albania
The Armenian balloon party
The (straight?) Latvian hockey players (that’s hot!)
The Croatian footie fans
The Slovakian dacing dog and hot family
Verka Serdushka and old lady in the Ukraine
The Crown Princess of Norway et. al.
The sexy dancers from Hamburg, and HUGE crowd there (pictured)
FN.00.07 Irish dancers in DublinFN.00.09 German dancers in Hamburg
The cute white Bulgarian doggie
The golden labrador in Bosnia & Herzegovina (and friends)
The awesome guy dancing in North Sea (pictured)
FN.00.10 Dancer in the North Sea

What a fantastic show… Until next year in Düsseldorf!

And so the journey continues with the second Semi-Final in Oslo. A strong line-up to come, and brutal critiques to follow (sorry; i’m just too honest!)

Lithuania – InCulto
SF2.01.Lithuania - InCulto

Well this is an interesting way to start out the evening. The song was a bit difficult to get into, but it grew like mould on my ears. Is there something about 6 semi-attractive Lithuanian men dancing around the screen in matching pants and shirts that intrigues me? I swear that I was intrigued more when their trousers came off to reveal sequin short-shorts; I admitted it so don’t hound me! But the musical quality was half-best if that… Funk is funk, what else can I say?

Armenia – Eva Rivas
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF2.02.Armenia - Eva Rivas

The only thing that would have made this song better on stage is that if it didn’t start out in Eva’s chest right from the beginning. The song is good, and the singer is beautiful. It’s a cute concept and song about an apricot stone! It’s cheesy-aly displayed on screen with the growth of some sort of apricot tree (or something), but all in all it’s a great song. Me likely!

Israel – Harel Skaat
=> Qualified
SF2.03.Israel - Harel Skaat

Eh.. A lot of people have talked about this song, but it hurt my ears. He sang out of tune about 70% of the song, and as emotional as it was, people saw it as good. I’m not convinced at all…

Denmark – Chanée and N’evergreen
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF2.04.Denmark - Chanée and N'evergreen

We have schlager again in Eurovision, youppie! Thank you Denmark for sending a cute Channée and an “uh” ok looking N’evergreen to sing to us about the moments that we pass up, or don’t know, or the times that we want to know what someone else is thinking. There has been much press about the ‘coldness’ between them, despite the love theme, but quite honestly I don’t see why it’s such a huge deal. The windblowers make any love they might not have together, unimportant.

Switzerland – Michael von der Heide
SF2.05.Switzerland - Michael von der Heide

This is a really weird song. It’s like out of the 70s or something with a modern twist, and a Swiss German singing in French. I guess it fits the bill of a lot of songs being in French in Eurovision history, but really I’m not convinced about this piece. The guy is blah looking, but has a bitchin’ name like Michael von der Heide. I’d marry him just for his name, but then again he’s Swiss-German, so that likely wouldn’t happen anyways, as he’d constantly be telling me I’m strange and that I do everything wrong… blah blah blah. Sadly it’s not raining gold for Herr von der Heide!

Sweden – Anna Bergendahl
❗ Personal Favourite
SF2.06.Sweden - Anna Bergendahl

Criminal that this song didn’t qualify. It was awesome, the crowd loved it, it’s Anna the cutie, but it didn’t catch and didn’t do well at all. Glowsticks in the crowd made me shiver again just like in Sweden’s Globe Arena. I don’t really know what happend here, but I think it’s tragic. I would have loved to see her win, and I think she could have too. So sad.. back to the drawing board.

Azerbaijan – Safura
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF2.07.Azerbaijan - Safura

This song is pure freaking gold. I have successfully, since the release of this song, convinced four North Americans that it’s good quality, and that despite them not knowing where or what Azerbaijan is, that they went right to iTunes to buy a copy. You’re welcome Safura.. so if you see a few purchases that come from Canada, you know who it’s thanks to! I sing this song everywhere, and I’d dare say I diva it up better than her… 😉

Ukraine – Alyosha
=> Qualified
SF2.08.Ukraine - Alyosha

I truly don’t understand this song, nor why it was a qualifier. She looks like a skank off the street, sings decently, but I can’t discern a melody or flow to the song. Did we think that her going to the final would get us laid, or something? Back to the drawing board, Ukraine, please!!

The Netherlands – Sieneke
SF2.09.The Netherlands - Sieneke

Well the Netherlands have tried just about everything to be more successful at this competition. It’s resulted in complete and utter failure, but at least the song was cute and in Dutch! Every time she says ‘zuw’ or ‘zou’ I giggle a little in my chair. She’s so cute for a cougar/puma or whatever she would be. I sorta-liked the song, but it was clear that it wasn’t going anywhere.

Romania – Paula Seling and Ovi
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF2.10.Romania - Paula Seling and Ovi

I love Romanian entries and Romanian music. There is something that they do to their music to make it better than others. Maybe it’s the beat, maybe it’s the mix of cute girls and cute boys, but I just really like this song so much that makes me want to learn piano just to play along and make it a trio! Great singing on both accords, great concept and presentation, especially since they are both pianists and do 80% of the performance at the piano. The conversation style works and makes great chemistry on stage!

Slovenia – Ansambel Žlindra and Kalamari
SF2.11.Slovenia - Ansambel Žlindra and Kalamari

Oh wow, this was a huge miss. Were the Slovene people drunk / bored / insane in sending this piece? I think the only thing going for this piece was the sexy accordin player. This group can “go home!” but he can come home with me.. heh!

Ireland – Niamh Kavanagh
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF2.12.Ireland - Niamh Kavanagh

A past winner of Eurovision making her return to the stage, in an attempt to salvage Ireland’s winning history of the competition, and despite them choosing a decent song to send, the performance was mediocre at best. I thought that the recording was much more entertaining and dramatic, and that Niamh’s voice was totally not in good shape to sing… Perhaps better in the final she will do better. Not a winner, but a nice ballad.

Bulgaria – Miro
SF2.13.Bulgaria - Miro

It might be a bit of me going out on a limb here with the coming comments, but realistically and quite honestly I’ve always been frank in my analyses. If Miroslav wasn’t “out” before the competition, he might have “outed” himself after this performance. There’s a huge elephant in the room and nobody is going to say it… not even me.

Cyprus – Jon Lilygreen and The Islanders
=> Qualified
SF2.14.Cyprus - Jon Lilygreen and The Islanders

The teenage wet dream dripping boyband made it through with his guitar. It’s an ok song sung decently but with nothing special going on. I think what bothered me most was the obese background singer, but I guess there isn’t much Cypriot population, so they couldn’t scrounge up something nicer to look at. I bet I’m the only one that noticed him though, as the rest of the teenage girls were drooling over this guy…

Croatia – Feminnem
❗ Personal Favourite
SF2.15.Croatia - Feminnem

Well if we were to have upsets in the competition it would have been this one. Feminnem is back from their “Call Me” song a few years ago but revamped and with a new style: sexy, balkan pop-ballad. This song speaks to me, and it draws on any type of eros that exists. It behooves me to feel drawn into their song and what they are trying to express. It’s criminal that they didn’t qualify and move to the final, they could have honestly taken the spot of some other songs that I wasn’t so fond of. So tragic..

Georgia – Sopho Nizharadze
=> Qualifer
SF2.16.Georgia - Sopho Nizharadze

This song is lovely, it truly is, but the performance ruined it for me. It’s too busy, too dancy, and too difficult to take a screenshot! There were better things that night, but it’s not worse than the go home songs this year, that’s forsure!

Turkey – maNga
=> Qualfied
SF2.17.Turkey - maNga

Not my style, but it’s an ok song. As expected the Turkish diaspora played a big role, and every poppy girl that watched Eurovision had their boyfriend’s vote for Turkey. I’m convinced. They are cute, and popular across Europe, but I’m still not on the band-wagon. I do like the way it looked on stage though, very funky!

So that was the show. Seven favourites means it was a half-decent performance, but there were criminal results. I really don’t think any of it made much difference though, as I get the impression that the continent already has decided who they are going to crown the winner…

Another year comes around, and thus another Eurovision Song Contest, but this time in 2011! A great line-up of diverse songs this year, as we plunge back into Scandinavia, and more specifically into Oslo. The reviews may have been completed months after, but that’s because I couldn’t find a decent version to view and take screenshots of! Anyways, on with the show, and my brutal critiques!

Moldova – SunStroke Project and Olia Tira
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF1.01.Moldova - SunStroke Project and Olia Tira

What isn’t to love about florescent blue fiddles, blue eyeshadow, Eastern European Pop/Dance music, a guy with a weirdly sounding deep voice when it seems he should be a male soprano, and thrusting hips of a saxophone player? I can’t find much bad to say about this song. Moldova and Romania, in general have really put good catchy songs in the mix, and luckily manages to qualify for the final. Each time there is a *bam* I just want to jump.

Russia – Peter Nalitch and Friends
=> Qualified
SF1.02.Russia - Peter Nalitch and Friends

Oh Russia… At first listen this song irritated me to no end, but it really grew on me but not enough to be a favourite. I think that it’s got a good tune, simple theme, and horrible English (but not the worst of the evening) but nothing boo-worthy. I actually found myself getting a little bit excited and goose-bumpy at the end when Mr. Peter sings out into his girly head voice! What is with the paper… did he forget the words?

Estonia – Malcolm Lincoln and Manpower 4
SF1.03.Estonia - Malcolm Lincoln and Manpower 4

I really wanted to like Estonia, I really truly did. I just didn’t get this song at all. The English was absolutely horrendous and there was nothing going on the stage. The marching around on stages bores me, and then the awkward dancing just makes it worse. This is so close to being a go-home song, but I will refrain from further defamation.

Slovakia – Kristina
❗ Personal Favourite
SF1.04.Slovakia - Kristina

The green setup, the Sarek-album cover type theme of this song actually works for me. I adore the fact that it is sung in Slovak, as it increases the diversity of the competition, but also for the fact that if it was sung in English it could have provent to be catastrophic. I find myself listening to this song on my iPod constantly whilst walking down the street and wondering who Horehronie was, but still with mystery, it’s exciting and exotic. Too bad that Europe didn’t agree… Did I mention that Kristina is gorgeous? Oh well!

Finland – Kuunkuiskaajat
❗ Personal Favourite
SF1.05.Finland - Kuunkuiskaajat

Did I say that I loved Finland in the past? Well if not, then it’s in stone now. This song is “100% absolut finsk-folkmusik” forsure, and it’s so strange that it works. It’s catchy, cultural, simple to boot, and so different from anything else in the competition that it would stand out regardless of what other skanky acts other countries threw in. I absolutely adore the fact that Finland sends entries that are cultural and dripping with awesome Finnish Language. It has reaffirmed my desire to marry a Finnish person and become even more frosty! Tvärr inte i final!

Latvia – Aisha
SF1.06.Latvia - Aisha

This was tipped as being a possible winner way way back, if I remember correctly. But as soon as it gets on stage it’s a complete disaster on stilts. Aisha poses a good question: What for? Why did she have to dress like she was just getting out of bed and still in a night-gown, and then wail at us asking what for. It was catchy in the previews, and it completely disapointed me on stage beyond words. Some devilish part of me wanted to rip her clothes off, but not in that sexual way that you might be thinking. It hurt my eyes.

Serbia – Milan Stanković
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF1.07.Serbia - Milan Stanković

There is a lot to say about this song, but I’ll start with the obvious. I wasn’t entirely convinced that this guy was in fact a guy… to a point that I even thought that I was looking at one of those old porcelain dolls. Was it make-up that made him look that way, or are his features just naturally that blandly feminine? Regardless from the moment that the voice starts, I’m hooked. I love this song beyond words. The only aversion to it, is that he keeps saying “puta” that makes me think he’s talking Spanish and calling us all sluts. Ovo je Balkan!

Bosnia & Herzegovina – Vukašin Brajić
=> Qualified
SF1.08.Bosnia & Herzegovina - Vukašin Brajić

I find it difficult to judge this, because I’m not a big of an of rock. My first reaction to be not a fan of it, but then when I listen to it, I find that it’s actually really a decent song. It’s not a favourite, because it’s simply too rockish for me, but it seems to be popular and he seems to sing well. I’m not surprised at all that Europe saw something in it.

Poland – Marcin Mroziński
SF1.09.Poland - Marcin Mroziński

Oh Poland how you disapoint me. This is officially the first “go home” song of the competition. I really don’t see where this song is going. It’s just a hot Polish guy, who doesn’t look so hot singing, struggling through English phrases and trying to make a melody sound like a melody when it just sounds… mashed up with something else. I really don’t understand what’s going on on the stage… please, and thank goodness you went home!

Belgium – Tom Dice
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF1.10.Belgium - Tom Dice

Can we say “Feel Good Favourite” a few more times please? This song is so adorable, pure and simple. Tom holds his guitar, and rocks it out for us with this acoustic pleasure. He’s cute, but not as cute as he could be, but I have to take the time to really tip my hat off to him. He wrote his song, he performs it, and despite quite possibly being a nobody in Flanders and Belgium, he”s won the hearts of millions of Europeans. I have to say that the Flemish are infinitely better at sending competitive songs to Eurovision, and perahps only one day the Walloons can give us something to gush over. I love love love love this piece. I want to just jump on stage and hug Him and His Guitar!

Malta – Thea Garrett
❗ Personal Favourite
SF1.11.Malta - Thea Garrett

What the fuck was that? I like this song, I truly do. It’s classic Malta and Eurovision, but what the fuck is going on during this performance? I understand that the song talks about birds and such, but why is there a freaky looking human trying to be a bird on stage. It’s like the awkward platypus in the room that takes away from Thea’s lovely voice. I’m not surprised that Europe didn’t buy into it though…

Albania – Juliana Pasha
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF1.12.Albania - Juliana Pasha

Oh yes, Albania you’ve done it again. You’ve taken a simple song and made it wonderful. There really isn’t anything amazing going on about this song. It’s simply catchy and relate-able. Juliana’s English is questionable, but it doesn’t matter because she can sing and convince us that it doesn’t matter what she’s singing apart from the chorus. I’m dancing in my room, and thinking back at all the Albanian gems in the past, and clicking my heels as she takes all the things that she does on to the final!

Greece – Giorgos Alkaios and Friends
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF1.13.Greece Giorgos Alkaios and Friends

You know, there is something about this piece that really urks something in me. Perhaps that it’s a manly song in the Eurovision Song Contest (go figure, right!) but I think it’s more accurate to say that the song turns me on, not because of it’s tune and subject matter about getting up or whatever, but it rests in the fact that the dancers are hot as fuck, and they keep grunting at me… I”ve never been one to fall for the tricks of the Mediterranean, but damn…

Portugal – Filipa Azevedo
=> Qualified
SF1.14.Portugal - Filipa Azevedo

The Portuguese language irritates me. That about sums it up about this song for me. I’m sure Filipa is a good singer, but this song really bothers me. The way that vowels are pronounced and held, and then her ‘lazy sleepy’ look on stage just makes it horror to my eyes. I know that I’d be stoned for this as most people seemed to like it, but my linguistic abilities and thoughts overpower any prospect that this song had for me to like it.

F.Y.R. Macedonia – Gjoko Taneski, Billy Zver and Pejcin
SF1.15.F.Y.R. Macedonia - Gjoka Taneski, Billy Zver and Pejcin

What the fuck is going on, here Macedonia? Go home, seriously. Strippers on stage with old people, and no discernible concept apart from “If I’m slutty maybe I’ll qualify” makes me want to gouge my eyes out with my fingernails. Go home!

Belarus – 3+2 feat. Robert Wells
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF1.16.Belarus - 3+2 feat. Robert Wells

This song makes me laugh as much as it makes me cringe. First up, why do Belarussians speak such horrible English? Nearly every entry that I can think of has resulted in horrible English pronunciation, but this is just ridiculous. I can barely understand it, and the way “imagine” is sung makes me want to shake them and give them English lessons myself. In their defense, the concept was cute and they are all decent singers. But wings? What the heck.. Swedish pianist Robert Wells? I don”t really understand the concept… but ok anyways!

Iceland – Hera Björk
=> Qualified
❗ Personal Favourite
SF1.17.Iceland - Hera Björk

I love it, I just love it. I love the fact that it’s an overweight woman dressed in a lovely gown, singing techno-pop to me. It’s a gay anthem, among other things, but it’s got surprisingly good lyrics and it’s performed top notch. Go Iceland go. It won’t be a winner, but it’s a winner in my heart, because “Je ne sais pas pourquoi!”

A great start to the competition, and a wonderfully professional show… Now just wait for the excitement of Thursday!