A topic of conversation that pops up in my staff room is a lovely debate, or rather us shaking our fists at the powers above for lack of common sense. It’s Chinglish and the seemingly impossible task for Chinese workers to translate things into English effectively.

For example, menus at local restaurants written in English are riddled with spelling mistakes or make no sense whatsoever. After my students offered to have a proper English translation done at no cost, they refused. This makes no sense to me.

Another example are posters at my school, which is an English-Chinese joint effort. Every time a huge billboard is printed, it has errors. To a point where quotations from actual English athletes are incorrectly copied (which has nothing to do with translation). The only people that have sense enough to ask for advice are our secretaries who send us little QQ messages to ask if something is correct or not – easy peasy.Why can’t the other members of the admin team do the same thing? It takes 2 minutes and there are about 20 native speakers on site that can fix any errors.

Belly Dnace

The most hilarious and personal example is an avert at my gym. They are advertising Belly Dnace lessons. We mentioned this to the owners and they didn’t seem too concerned and just scoffed it off. This is after the management tried to bribe the administration to making their gym the official gym of the local school just to get free advertising. A bit desperate, but funny enough even without the the official mention, when we all mention we are going to the gym, everybody knows which one.

I guess they think it’s charming, or something… :crazy:

In a desperate attempt to be lazy and regain my strength from busy working days, views from my bed upon waking up can be found in the below photograph.

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I spend as little energy as possible doing things on the weekend, and despite this low-energy stuff I still manage to go to the gym on the ever deserted Saturday and Sunday late-night shifts. I like when the gym is empty, as I can do my stuff and leave without anyone bothering me. But until then, I can only hibernate away under my duvet in an attempt to have enough energy to get up and watch Andra Chansen today.

Unfortunately the month of February is so short that I haven’t been able to adress this post at all so I will be making some goals for the next month and their explanation.

For starters I will will try to complete this 30 day blog challenge… (If you click that link, it will send you to the other posts)

Secondly I will try to complete the first module of my upgrade ESL teaching certificate. I’m stuck in the grammar module, and as a non-native speaker of English, it’s taking me a little bit more time to remind myself of the actual rules and explanations of the complex thing that we call the English language. I have until July to complete 3 modules, so it’s totally doable.

Thirdly I will research new furniture for my room because my under-sized single bed seems to not be cutting it. I’m sick of my feet hanging off the edge when I fall asleep, and in the winter this isn’t good because it’s cold in my room! I’ve thought about it, and the practicality of getting a queen bed isn’t very good, because ultimately it’s just me (and I don’t expect anyone else to need to share my bed), but also because there isn’t much room in my bedroom to allow for a bed of this size. It will eventually be an investment for my future, if anything.

Fourthly, I will actively try to take more care of my skin. I have a bunch of skin care products that I’ve been avoiding because I just seem to forget to use them, and they start to build up. I have an entire shelf worth of things, and I need to get rid of a lot of the stuff. This may include body butter from The Body Shop, exfoliants, scrubs, sea salts from the dead sea, and miscellaneous other products (of which I have to many!).

Fifthly, I’m going to start my regime again at the gym and do yoga on days that I don’t go to the gym. This means that Monday, Wednesday, Fridays I will go to the gym (and use the membership that I’ve been paying but haven’t used for months…), and the nights that I have other things like Tuesday and Thursday I can do yoga in lieu of the exercise. I think this will end up good, because basically I need to get a hot body fast for the summer for once. I’m going to several weddings, so I have to be in tip-top shape.

I think that should be good enough for March!

The title speaks louder than words. If I find other people checking me out at the gym; I think I’m either going to metaphorically shit a brick, or throw one at someone. I’m not an object, nor an attractive one, and I’m certainly not a piece of meat to be stared at, when I’m at the my weakest moments. And by weakest moments I mean the time that I’m getting changed. And besides, it’s not like I’m showing any more than 50% of my skin at any given time anyways.

The point is, take your eyes and avert them elsewhere as there are a lot better things to look at. This includes all people over the age of 50, and under the age of 21. None of which should be looking at me anyways; but then again those are the only demographics that I seem to attract (at least the ones that are dodgy and mostly pedophelic).

Anyways, you’ve been warned!