Fridays suck more than anything in human existance. Everyone is always out doing something or other, having lives, having fun, whatever nonsense normal people do. What does everyone do anyways? I wouldn’t know, being the hermit and all. Anyways, getting off topic.
In addition to this, the only people online are the ‘Away’ people who are out doing shit, or the Aussies bitching about having nothing to do on a Saturday afternoon. Speaking of which, I really don’t like / appreciate having a horrible lagg with my internet connection with 10 freaking lines showing up in 1 second. It’s not like what I say even is noticed anyways, it just gets lost in the gibbersish that the others are going on about.
Oh, another intersting fact. I got a nice little message from one of the ops talking to me for whatever reason and going on about appologising for being an ass or something like that. It would have been fine if he just left it that way, but nooo, he had to go on and on and go into detail about why he didn’t like me, and why others were aprehensive. Apparently not sharing a photo with people, automatically makes them a pedophile who is creepy and talks about weird things. When someone goes on about this basically disecting my actions/such, it doesn’t really bode well for me. Like, I already don’t feel comfortable in the situation before he say something, and then him telling me that all the opers have been talking about me, and other people have been spreading rumours and shit, how does one think that is going to make me feel? I already feel like crap, thinking that nobody there likes me, and just when I think that I might have been wrong, he goes and just confirms what I say. So it’s no wonder that nobody ever listens to what I have to say, as it get’s ignored anyways.
So on a happier note, today (as in July 1st) is the national holiday here celebrating some sort of independance from Britain or whatever. People will be walking around in red and white all the time, and honestly as much of an accepting person I am, I just hate national holidays.. My mom tells me to wear some red / white to show that I’m naturalise Canadian (yeah right) and I choose to tell her “I like to think of myself as more of a citizen of the world’ than any nationality. And of course she gones on some rant about why I shouldn’t be thinking that, and bitching about whey she left her home in Sweden to go marry a deadbeat of a father in Canada that she met in the UK. Whatever, is all that I can muster at this point.
Apart from all that, things are pretty peachy (at least on my very different scale of feelings) as people around are just frolicing and being all happy and lovey-dovey. I think one of these days I’m actually going to spontaniously combust from it all.
So about them Fridays… If only I could become a sloth and sleep for the entire 48 hours that encompus Thursday Evenings to Saturday afternoons and just avoid the whole goddamned day just to avoid thinking about it all. Oh and I’ve got a bank appointment with the lawyer next week to sign my papers for going abroad for school. He is no doubt going to ask if I’m working this summer, and I have a sneaky suspicion that I am going to lie and say that I’m doing odd jobs, which I’m clearly not because I lay around all day doing things of little importance in any scheme of anything. I’m too tired to do anything, so I sleep all day, and then people bitch at me for not doing anything. But honestly, I have no motivation to do anything.. And why is that? Well if I believed in God, then I’m sure (s)he could answer that.
Oh and another random outburst of the day, since I am clearly on a rant. I snapped at Gus today in a moment of pure insanity when he decides to message me looking for Steff “Is Steff online for you?” and at first I didn’t think anything of it and told him no she’s not for me, and then he says something like “okay, so then, whats up with you then?” and then it hit me (as if I haven’t been thinking of this before) that the only time that my best friend talks to me, is if he need some help with something, like finding Steff. And to think how a simple word like “then” could make me realize, because it’s got a strong implication of being one of those “oh since they aren’t around I guess I could talk to you.” God that hurts like a bitch, so I let him have it in the most sarcastic sentances I’ve probably ever said I’n my life, and even when I say it straight out that he only comes to me when he needs help with something (and yet I always seem to find no reason to say hello and ask him how his life is going every-once-and-awhile). All he can manage to muster is “Is that so?” and I just nearly punched a hole through my screen so I just closed the window and went back to sleep. Shame that there is no apprecation for such little things, because apparently he’s “too busy” to talk to me, but he has enough time on a daily basis to talk to Steff for hours. And here’s me staying up at crazy hours of the days, sometimes 48-72hrs straight, just to be around in UK timezone. Give me a fucking break, if I’m being outrageous in trying to prove a point, I don’t even want to hear it, because point has already been proven.
Before I go into a hissy fit..
[/end psychopathic rant]