So it’s been a few days, and despite many wishes of wellness, happiness, and good fortune I can’t help but start to think about it. I’m at an age now that I’m feeling quite a bit older than I was, but still stuck in major ruts in my life. My self-worth is very diminished as I’ve aged a lot since I last did an assessment. It’s quite depressing, but totally liveable.
Having said that I couldn’t help but reflect on the last few days and hope that they aren’t what I should be expecting for the next 363 days. For one, I have no energy and really have very little motivation to do anything. Secondly, after saving up points from the arcade to buy the huge banana body pillow yesterday, we went to the cinema, came out and the banana was gone.
Besides the fact that the film was saw was a total mind fuck, thank you very much Inception, but I was informed by the clerk that 20 minuts earlier they ‘finally got rid of it.’ I thought I was dreaming, after months of saving up points to purchase it I was finally at that stage, and them boom my luck.
I’ve never thought of myself as a lucky person, but the last few days have just proven it. I sort of thought that I was dreaming, and needed to snap myself out of it. I sort of also wanted to just crawl up and die for no particular reason. The tears were forming in my eyes, but attempting to recapture the stoicism that I know so well, managed to keep it together.
All I can ask is two words: “Why me?!”
The above photo is a taken a few moments before a circling York Region Police Deptartment Helicopter (chopper) was circling around Yongue St. & Green Lane on Sunday night. They were searching for someone. How does this connect to me? I was walking out of the cinema, from watching District 9, and cut across the parking lot and was infront of the Price Chopper. Suddenly the light focuses on me, follows me, and before I know it I have 20 police cruisers surrounding me. I approach one of them asking what’s wrong.
They ask me who I am, where I’m coming from, where I’m going. Answers my name, the cinema, home at Yongue & Mulock, respectively. They tell me that they are looking for someone, and ask if I’m alone. I reply I’m as alone as a person walking by ones self can be, and I’m alone for the weekend. They proceed to tell me that I’m not who they are looking for, and tell me to hurry home. I tell them it’s 4km walk home, and it’s going to take me at least 1.5 hours to get there (this is at 10pm btw). They say okay, and all about to drive off, and as they are leaving I ask them if I should be worried. They reply “uh, no.” I reply, “Well it’s a bit disconcerning being surrounded by 20 cruisers, having the chopper’s light on me, and telling me that everything is “ok” because obviously it isn’t.” The officer grunted at me, and I continued on my way.
The walk home involved paranoia, and some running as I was scared to get raped.
Why do the things that only happen in movies, happen to me on a daily basis? Crazy.
So the photo? In the top right you can see the chopper, and on the left you can see the light, about to shine on me. Great isn’t it? Le sigh.
After debating going to see this with friends, and being rejected all around as people don’t like thrillers, I decided to go to the cinema to do some stalking of someone at the concession stand, but also to see this film which oddly I really liked. It’s listed as a drama, but it’s clearly a thriller wannabe-horror film. It centres around a girl, Esther, who is adopted from a religious orphanage in a small remote town in New England. She comes from Russia, and integrates into the family well, seemingly a perfect little child, albeit weird with her oldish type of dressing, and the ribons that she always wears around her neck and wrists.
Everything bad seems to happen around Esther, and it soon is revealed that she’s a 33 year old Estonian mental-hospital escapee who cons families into adopting her, as she has a genetic disease making her look like a girl, and when the fathers of the famalies decline her sexual advances she turns on them.
All in all a great story line, a little bit gruesom, but for a child from hell film, I’m quite impressed. I liked the way that it was done. It has renewed my interest in Estonian culture, even though this film negatively protrays it. I think also the directors fudged a bit with the timezone differences. If it’s night time in the middle of winter in America, it’s not light outside in Estonia; duh!