Eurovision Song Contest 2011: Final

And so after a weak first semi-final, and a strong second semi-final we come to the final entrants and the automatically qualified countries…

Finland – Paradise Oskar
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.01.Finland - Paradise Oskar

What’s not to like about a cute boy with a guitar singing a song with a fantastic meaning and a simple, yet super effective performance? I am absolutely devastated that it came 21st place, as it’s by far one of the best songs in the competition. I will say the following: I used to love Måns Zelmerlöw, but now there is someone else in the running to become my future husband and the father of my children. I’m not even joking!

Bosnia & Herzegovina – Dino Merlin
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.02.Bosnia & Herzegovina - Dino Merlin

Sito, oh… Sito, oh… Sito, oh… This song rocks my socks in every single way. It’s catchy. It’s thought provoking. It’s charming. It’s Eastern. It’s a whole bunch of awesome and amazing packed into a little package sung by a multi-timed Eurovision star, Dino Merlin. He keeps coming back and he keeps doing well. His efforts have given him a top 10 placing, which is well deserved. I even think it should have been a top 5 choice. Bosnia & Herzegovina seem to be really consistent with their songs, and lets hope that it will continue on like that.

Denmark – A Friend in London
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.03.Denmark - A Friend in London

I’m not going to bitch about it being a rip-off of the song by another artist, but I will say the following: the song is good, but the artist offends me after this evening. During the entire song, he looks constipated and angry like he wants to shoot someone. Then the entire time he’s in the green room he’s clearly drunk (or at least seemingly so) and keeps pointing to the camera telling Europe that he wants to fuck us. Does that mean that he wants to participate in one huge orgy, and he’s actually bisexual? Food for thought…

Lithuania – Evelina Sašenko
FN.04.Lithuania - Evelina Sashenko

I’m so glad that this song qualified and flopped in the final. Enlish is atrocious and I haven’t the slightest idea what’s being said in the script (and I even speak French!). She has a good voice, I’ll give her that, but the whole thing just seems a lot awkward to me. She’s difficult to take a screen cap too, cause he face is always smushing together.

Hungary – Kati Wolf
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.05.Hungary - Kati Wolf

This song is a great dance song and a great thing to listen to, albeit simple. It was tipped as one of the ones to watch and to win, and then in the final it flops with 22nd place, which is dismal to say the least. The song is good, and it’s much better than the semi-final performance which had some vocal problems. I think that it just got lost in the shuffle, or perhaps her ring was so large it blocked others from tele voting… Just saying’

Ireland – Jedward
FN.06.Ireland - Jedward

I still haven’t figured out what bothers me about these twin brothers. I can’t assess whether it’s because it’s an overly gay song, or because they have outrageous hair, or because they are jumping around like chipmunks, or that they are clearly trying to annoy us, or that they are Irish, or that they probably gay symbols while being homophobic.. the list could go on and on. The song is offensive to, albeit catchy, but it doesn’t sit well with me. Ireland should go back to their classic ballads…

Sweden – Eric Saade
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.07.Sweden - Eric Saade

Did I mention that I love Sweden? Everyone loves Sweden because they think that Swedish people will have sex with you. The reality is that Swedish people will cockblock you and be totally rude because they hate foreigners. 😉 Regardless you catapult the Swedes to top 1 and top 2 places in this competition (does that say much about how Sweden dominates?) Eric Saade continues to be everyone’s wet dream, and with a good song and performance he should be very proud (and honoured to have such genes)…

Estonia – Getter Jaani
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.08.Estonia - Getter Jaaani

As I rock around the clock to this song, and find my way to Rockefeller Street, I wonder how she manages to turn a scarf into a stick. She’s got wonders for me, and it helps that she’s cute. I’m smitten. But then I’m even more smitten by the three bois that dance with her and offer her flowers at the end. Catchy… Incomprehensible lyrics… Adorable… It’s Eurovision in a nutshell! Totally tragic second last placing in the competition… I mean really… Lithuania is clearly worse!

Greece – Loukas Giorkas feat Stereo Mike
FN.09.Greece - Loukas Giorkas feat. Stereo Mike

I’m kind of confused a lot by this song. It’s a mixture of rap and ethnic singing with a pop feel. It’s got an extremely attractive person on screen with his mouth wide open waiting for the world to comment about his hotness and the fact that he’s clearly Greek, but at the same time it’s a bit too ominous for me to like. It’s not positive and happy enough, or even has sufficient numbers of key changes to make it to my awesome list! When he rips open his jacket however, I’m sure he got a ‘rise’ from some…

Russia – Alexey Vorobyov
FN.10.Russia - Alexey Vorobyov

Atrocious English skills, not really good looks, a song that doesn’t really make much sense to me (though catchy), and that pretty much sums up what’s going on with this song. If the guy didn’t change his name twice during the CD release and to the competition, I would be less annoyed and maybe a little more impressed. It just sounds like he doesn’t even know how to say hello in English properly…

France – Amaury Vassili
FN.11.France - Amaury Vassili

France, as usual, sends something completely different. Who would have thunk it; a Coriscan song? Well to be fair Corsica is apart of the French Republic and Amaury decided to portray it’s importance by singing in it’s language. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a singer so awkward on stage, but boy does he have a voice. Clearly classically trained, anyone with a good ear would know that this is a fantastic performance (though not perfect), but it just didn’t quite float the boat. At least it beat Russia!

Italy – Rafael Gualazzi
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.12.Italy - Rafael Gualazzi

Welcome back to the competition Italy! Way to bring a winner back as well. This year’s runner up was about as classic as you could get, and I’m glad that they stuck to their guns and kept it simple. An Italian man at a piano with a band, singing a jazzy tune, mesmerizes the judges and the people alike. I gander a guess even that this should have been a winner, based on pure musical godliness. Hope that it continues this way for Italy!

Switzerland – Anna Rossinelli
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.13.Switzerland - Anna Rossinelli

Well Switzerland finally qualified for the final, in Lord knows how long, and then they flop in the final. Is this really a surprise? No. Should this has been expected? Probably. Why does Europe hate the Swiss so much? Because they are neutral. But that’s why I like them. This is a very cute song that does get under your skin a bit, but at least Switzerland can’t bitch about always being thrown under the bus by the rest of the Eurovision crowd! If the Swiss continue like this, they might actually get lucky and qualify again…

United Kingdom – Blue
FN.14.United Kingdom - Blue

There was a lot of hype about this song, and I can’t really understand why. It’s a boy band with a song that’s far too loud and intense. They aren’t even a boyband. It’s more like a man-band as they are all too old to be in synch a group. At any rate, I think the song is really tacky and uninspired. Clearly four straight men trying to make it at Eurovision isn’t working, and although they may have made the Brits proud, it was nothing to write home about. This deserved a 19th place finish, but alas barely out the top-10. What did everyone see that I didn’t? They weren’t even that good looking.

Moldova – Zdob şi Zdub
FN.15.Moldova - Zdob si Zdub

A crowd pleaser clearly, but I don’t understand what would be the draw for it. The song itself is okay but it doesn’t have anything to write home about. Despite having an old lady bounce around in a drum the last time they were in Eurovision, and now they have a unicycle with a pretty girl go around, and cone-head hats… What’s the draw? Maybe the fact that it’s not mainstream, and has a lot of background international support? I bet if they ran in Moldovan elections (that weren’t rigged or such) they would probably win…

Germany – Lena Meyer-Landrut
FN.16.Germany - Lena Meyer-Landrut

Germany took a huge risk this time putting the winner from last year into the competition. The result wasn’t that surprising, but still was a pretty solid top 10 finish. The song demonstrates what a fantastic artist Lena is. It’s completely different in just about every way compared to last year, and demonstrates a different ambiance and feeling that I’ve never seen from Germany. It’s creepy, and it’s dark. It’s magical, and it’s simple. It’s spandex and stilettos, and it’s hidden and secretive. Go Germany Go! You’ve got balls!

Romania – Hotel FM
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.17.Romania - Hotel FM

I can’t change the world alone, come on everybody lets change the world! This guy is cute and I want to take him home with me in my pocket. Adorable and cute song that is the feel good favourite of the year! Go Romania Go! They are my favourite overall country since the last 10 years and they constantly remind me why!

Austria – Nadine Beiler
FN.18.Austria - Nadine Beiler

I won’t lie.. I’m prejudiced against Austria. I generally find Austrian people to be rude and elitist, and when it comes to Eurovision they do nothing but bitch about it because they never qualify (because they send shit songs). Well this time they sent a good song, and it still screams Austria to me. Everything about it makes me think of Austria, and for the reason I don’t like it. It was, still in the end, a good song.

Azerbaijan – Ell & Nikki
=> Winner
FN.19.Azerbaijan - Ell & Nikki

How can I describe this song? Swedish. It’s written by the Swedes. It’s backed by the Swedes. It’s choreographed by the Swedes. It’s produced by the Swedes. The only thing that doesn’t make it Swedish, are the Azerbaijani singers. They are adorable and I want the guy to be my boyfriend because he’s so adorable. Since I know that won’t ever happen, and while the rest of Europe tries to discover where the hell Azerbaijan is (so they can go next year to Baku), I will just have daydreams about the song.

Slovenia – Maja Keuc
FN.20.Slovenia - Maja Keuc

This is going to be harsh, but it’s really gotten to me. It ain’t over till the fat lady sings, but the fat lady sang and the show went on. Thank God. I don’t get why people like this song as it’s just an over-Diva’ed song that makes me want to hurl. I love Slovenia, but what the hell?

Iceland – Sjonni’s Friends
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.21.Iceland - Sjonni's Friends

Why doesn’t Europe like this song? It’s upbeat and awesome. Perhaps most of the voters were put off by the fact that a man kissed another man on the cheek and they smiled bout it. Don’t you people know a bromance when you see it? This song hit a dismal 20th position and I’m at a loss for words at this ranking, as clearly it kicked Slovenia in the ass… Please don’t get disheartened Iceland! I love you!

Spain – Lucia Pérez
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.22.Spain - Lucia Pérez

A lot of people have mean things to say about this song, but really I think it’s fun and totally cool! Coming in 23rd position shows Europe doesn’t like it, but it’s something that makes me want to await Spring and Summer even more! I have no idea what the song is about, but it gets me dancing and wanting to become a flamenco dancer. Having said that, it does have a bit of a “Hits for Kids” feeling, but I forgive Lucia!

Ukraine – Mika Newton
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.23.Ukraine - Mika Newton

God this girl can sing… It’s like listening to a recording but instead of having to actually watch her sing, we get to watch pretty sand drawings appear on the big screen. I think it was a brilliant combination of art and music, and I’m really happy for Ukraine and how they end up doing well all the time. Totally deserving of a top 5 ranking, hurrah!

Serbia – Nina
❗ Personal Favourite
FN.24.Serbia - Nina
Despite not being born in the hippy or psychedelic eras or timeframes, this song is like turning back the clock and having some fun! It’s (pun intended) magical! Nina is a fantastic singer and the song is effectively portrayed on stage with a simple, yet effective presentation. I never though this kind of music could come out of Serbia, but I’m so happy that it does!

Georgia – Eldrine
FN.25.Georgia - Eldrine

All I have to say about this song is that I hate it, Eldrine has a big fat mouth, and it is my own “go home” songs of the year. I was that dissatisfied.

So that wraps up the competition for the year. My comments are much delayed but I’m glad that I finally was able to get screen caps done and my comments together in a somewhat logical way. I’m happy with the competition results, but would have liked to see a Finnish, Icelandic, or Bosnian victory. All three of those songs were top contenders, also Italy, but alas the Sweidsh-Azerbaijani entry wins. Germany hosted an amazing show and probably spent far too much money on it, but who cares?! I loved it.

Now… Europe, find out where Azerbaijani is, save up shiploads of money as the flight will probably cost an arm and a leg, and get ready for Baku 2012!

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