Nail care for the ignorant

Did you know that I haven’t clipped my nails since… about February? I italicized the word “clipped” for a reason, because that doesn’t mean that I haven’t done something to my nails (because that would be creepy). I just learned that when you file your nails down with an emery board or nail file, it results in 90% or more less broken nails or hangnails?!

Isn’t that the greatest news since the invention of the bra for women?! (I mean support is awesome, and droopy breasts is unattractive – even for the fag-hags!)

Well you heard it first (or not so first) from me… Start filing your nails and not clipping them and you won’t get any breaks anymore. I just think that it’s so trippy that there haven’t been any breaks or trips; and in all fairness I’ve been totally active with tennis, running, and miscellaneous grounding around the house with chores.

Hurrah for non-broken nails!

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