Hello Euro-land, another year has come and this time we are in Moscow, Russia with Eurovision Song Contest 2009. The presenters started out, can barely speak English, and are frankly horrible. They are boring, and aren’t even funny. First impressions are that the stage is amazing, and they spent a fortune, and they want to show it off. The show looked really unprofessional because they didn’t focus on the singers, and just wanted to show how good the actual stage was. Pretty sad, in my opinion. On with the show!
Montenegro – Andrea Demirovic
This is a great catchy Euro-tune, and since Montenegro alone has been quite new to the competition, it’s struggled to qualify and is often lost in the field. Andrea’s song is wonderful, the dancer is super gay despite trying to seduce a woman. The vocals were a little bit iffy at times, but it’s so catchy. I can’t help but hop around to this song, but of course it didn’t qualify, such a shame!
Czech Republic – Gipsy.cz
What the hell was this? I don’t even know what was going on stage, this is the first go home song of the year. Czech republic is having issues finding itself in the competition, perhaps next year they will enter with a ballad that isn’t hard-rock, or rock in general! Usch! Totally horrible, and in spandex too!
Belgium – Copycat
Elvis Impersonators are dead. Belgium has been struggling for the last years, and frankly their desperation becomes more and more pathetic. This guy doesn’t sing a good song, and I hate it, it’s the first back-to-back go home songs ever in the history of my analysis. Please don’t come back, and yeah… ugh I don’t even know what to say!
Belarus – Petr Elfimov
I’m sort of torn with this song, because it’s not bad and the singing is okay, just it looks weird on stage. I see some woman hidden behind a curtain, and the singer with poor styling and a weird hair-cut. The song itself isn’t that bad, but I feel that since it didn’t qualify there will be major protests from the Belarussian delegation, they always seem to complain about everything.
Sweden – Malena Ernman
La Suède, La Malena, La Voix! It’s great, but it’s so weird without the backing tape and having a chorus of women. She looked incredibly nervous on the stage, and there wasn’t anything really going on with the performance. The Melodifestivalen performances were much better and despite the vocals being wonderful it left me wondering if it’s the jury’s choice, again this year. She’s wonderful but I feel the final will bring some bad luck, unfortunately.
Armenia – Inga and Anush
This is such a culturally stimulating song, but I feel that it’s a poor representation of Armenian culture. First off the women are in native dress (accurate or not, who knows?) and they are wearing more make-up that I can’t even locate their eyes, and they look all drugged up. I can’t imagine it’s comfortable, but the song is wonderful. It’s totally eastern and coming from the unknown, and the English is a bit iffy but it’s still a catchy song; keeping everybody moving your body! It grew on me the more I listened to it!
Andorra – Susanne Georgi
I love this song; it’s cheezy and a teeny-bopper song with a redhead on stage. I don’t mind at all, but I know that nobody will pay any attention to Andorra. When have they, anyways? It’s just kind of tragic in any case. The girly band on stage doesn’t really help much either, sadly.
This is a huge upset for the first semi-final. Very Coldplay-ish feeling, good song and a crowd pleaser but not enough votes from around I presume. I’m not surprised at all because Switzerland always goes sort of unnoticed, but it’s truly a shame. They probably came somewhere towards the end, but deserved at least to make it to the final. They were robbed.
Turkey – Hadise
Another dancing whore makes it to the final. Turkey is always sending the same type of dancing songs that are typically Turkish, and of course due to disapora-voting I’m not surprised that it’s a qualifier and will make the top-10 in the final. I don’t like seeing half naked women belly dancing in weddings, so what makes one think that I’ll like it in Eurovision?
Israel – Noa and Mira Awad
I don’t see what all the hype is about for this. It’s great because we have two languages and an idea of unity but it just doesn’t work for me. Why do they keep doing the same type of ballads? Well at least some people in France know who they are though, funny enough!
Bulgaria – Krassimir Avramov
What the hell is going on here? I don’t really understand it at all. There are people on stilts throwing each other around, people screaming and using eastern-type singing, but then this guy sort of being un featured. I think Bulgaria is the specialist in featuring better backing singers than their featured singers. Too much going on in different places and one of the ladies looks like an amazon, no jokes!
Iceland – Yohanna
Everyone always underestimates my first choice pick, and this one is it. Major dark-horse song, with a prett
y girl that sings like an angel. The song literally brought me to tears the first time I heard it, I was so moved by it’s text and meaning. Plus seeing sailing ships and dolphins flying in the back of the screen makes me really happy! Yohanna quite possibly could have been the winning song, and will make top 5 for sure on Saturday, if not then it’s a major scandal!
F.Y.R. Macedonia – Next Time
Go home Macedonia-monster-name. I don’t get it, this sucked, and at the risk of sounding the same as last year, what the hell are you doing? This was horrible, and I can’t bring myself to watch what’s going on on stage.
Romania – Elena
The Balkan Girls like to party; who knew it? This song is catchy, just presented poorly with dancers that are having too many things floating around. The singing is okay, but it’s missing something and the backing vocals need to be pumped up a little bit to make a bit of a contrast with Elena’s voice. Not surprising through to the final but won’t bring in any 12-ers.
Finland – Waldo’s People
I favourite this song based on the song, but performance-wise it’s horrible and the Finns need to learn. They claim that it’s not a song where there would be dancers, but you’ve got a Finnish-wigger on stage dressed like he’s a thug rapping while elegant Finnish women sing the lovely chorus. It’s a great song, but it’s just so awkward on stage. Speaking of presentation, 12 points to the nearly naked flamethrower dancers in the back! Did anyone else notice that their pants were so low that you can nearly see their pelvis? Okay maybe just me!
Portugal – Flor-de-Lis
This song is so cute and happy. The colours on the LEDs are making me think of some childish story, and the singer is simple. I imagine being on a beach with some sort of sun-hat on, just sort of singing along to what’s going on. It’s a feel-good song of the night, and the more and more I listen to it the more and more I like it. At first I judged it harshly as most Portugese songs are weird, but this one really floated my boat! Go team!
Malta – Chiara
Well Chiara is back in Eurovision for the third time and with another ballad that reminds of me her last one. She’s not really changed much, just gotten older, and her voice is still flawless and the song is lovely. I just think that it’s too much similar to the other songs and will get trampled over in the final. It would have been more ironic if Malta sang last, because then I could finally say that it aint over until the fat lady sings, and well, but she’s the penultimate number. Damn!
Bosnia & Herzegovina – Regina
I don’t see what the hype is about this song, it’s too politically charged and it looks like the Soviet Union went and took over again. Bosnia has good songs, and it’s not that it’s bad, it’s just not for me. They need to go back to schlager to make me more happy!! Oh and the guy needed to shave, badly! He reminds me of some emo from the balkans that just is in need of a haircut!
Well there you have it, I had ten favourites (how ironic with the number of qualifiers) but three of them were dropped, not surprisingly. I’m looking forward to Saturday’s final when we have different commentators, and what’s the deal with tAtu again? Lame!